Sunday News #37

Sunday Post and Sunday Salon are blog news memes hosted at Caffeinated Reviewer and Reader Buzz, respectively. It’s a chance to share news, recap the past week on your blog, and showcase books and other things.
Feeling

I’m feeling exhausted and a little more like myself. (I expound on my exhaustion in a couple of sections below.) As far as the second bit, I had a really good talk with my therapist about how PTSD therapy’s affecting me. He reminded me about a couple skills I learned in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) that I don’t use very often. I tried using them during some of my exposure sessions and they helped me cope with the ups and downs of my emotions.

Blogging

This week on the blog:

I really enjoyed and looked forward to participating in more Let’s Talk Bookish discussions, but I’m a bit disappointed that the host isn’t very consistent in posting each week. And, she doesn’t use a linky so the participants can’t visit and read each other’s posts.

Reading

I’m still reading WHERE THE CRAWDADS SING by Delia Owens. I haven’t made much progress because I’ve been spending most of my reading time working on my blog design update. I’m planning to spend more time reading this week.

I’m about 75% of the way through the HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS audiobook. As I stated in my Book Blogger Hop post, it’s been helping me calm down after my exposure sessions.

I learned in DBT that life is full of dialectics, or two opposing truths. In this case, the two opposing truths are: 1) I don’t agree with JKR’s stance regarding trans people, and 2) I still love Harry Potter.

Listening

As some of you know, I enjoy listening to K-pop. My friend Suey (It’s All About Books) often sends me new songs and music to listen to. It’s fun discovering new bands to listen to when I’m in the mood.

Anyway, at book club this past Wednesday, she introduced me to Psy’s music video for his new song “That That.” I’d listened to the song before; I’d just never watched the video. For those in the know, he’s joined by Suga (BTS) about halfway through.

Watching

Corey and I saw SEE HOW THEY RUN this week and it was so much fun. The comedic timing was perfect. The writing was so creative and funny and the actors and characters were fantastic. We want to see it again to catch all the things we may have missed the first time around.

The actress who portrayed Moaning Myrtle in the Harry Potter movies was in SEE HOW THEY RUN. She has such a unique voice that I recognized her immediately. Every time she spoke, I’d think of my favorite line from Myrtle: “Harry, if you die down there, you’re welcome to share my toilet.”

Loving

I loved our discussion at book club this week. We read THE GOOD SISTER by Sally Hepworth and it generated a lot of awesome thoughts on mental health, neurodivergence, and psychological thrillers in general. I’ll be posting my recap tomorrow if you’re interested in that at all.

I also loved going out to lunch with a friend this week. We were in the same DBT group. I started a few months before her. She graduated this week so we celebrated. We’re going to try to have a lunch date every month.

Wanting

I want to spend the day in bed listening to the rest of the HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS audiobook.

Needing

I need to chill today. Yesterday was a hard day. I went to my great-nephew’s birthday party as part of PTSD therapy. (I usually avoid family events.) It was the first time seeing any of my family since my dad’s funeral in December 2020. I’m glad I went and I’m spent. My emotions were pretty intense for most of the day.

How was your week? Anything exciting happen?

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Sunday News #36

Sunday Post and Sunday Salon are blog news memes hosted at Caffeinated Reviewer and Reader Buzz, respectively. It’s a chance to share news, recap the past week on your blog, and showcase books and other things.
Feeling

I’m feeling a bit blue this week. I’m still muddling through all the things I need to do; my PTSD therapy’s just taking its toll on my mental health. I know what I’m doing is good for me in the long run, and it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

Blogging

This week on the blog:

Reading

I finished reading SOME OF IT WAS REAL by Nan Fischer this week. My review’s posting tomorrow. I was a bit disappointed with the ending, but I still loved the story and premise. I also finished listening to the HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE audiobook. I’m still trying to decide if I’m going to post anything about it. Probably not since it’s my sixth time reading it.

I’m back to reading WHERE THE CRAWDADS SING by Delia Owens. I’m hoping to finish it early this week. Then, I’ll start FEED by Mira Grant (Seanan McGuire) or LOVE ON THE BRAIN by Ali Hazelwood. I’m really excited to read both!

I also started the HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS audiobook on Friday. This book gives me ALL the feels.

I learned in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) that life is full of dialectics, or two opposing truths. In this case, the two opposing truths are: 1) I don’t agree with JKR’s stance regarding trans people, and 2) I still love Harry Potter.

Listening

After a particularly hard day with my PTSD therapy this week, I spent some time listening to my instrumental playlist. Instrumental music soothes me like no other music, especially music in the minor key. I really love piano music; though, I love fully orchestrated pieces too. Anyway, I’m sharing one of my favorite songs from my playlist. It’s called “Halston” by Stephan Moccio.

Watching

Corey and I finally saw BULLET TRAIN. It was amazing! We both loved it so much. I want to see it again soon! I loved one of the cameos SOOO much. (If you know me and you’ve seen the movie, you’ll know who I mean. Hint, take a look at my celebrity crushes.) Anyway, the actors were fantastic. I also loved that the director embraced Japan in all its glory. Like others, I thought it was very reminiscent of both volumes of KILL BILL. Corey, a Tarantino aficionado, said it was more like a marriage between Tarantino and Wes Anderson.

We also finished rewatching the MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE movies. I really love the team they’ve put together for the movies. I do hope Jeremy Renner comes back in one or both of the next two films.

I also watched the finale of MASTERCHEF and let’s just say that I couldn’t be any happier!

Loving

I really loved this week’s Let’s Talk Bookish discussion. We were asked to discuss what we’ve learned from blogging, any advice we’d give new bloggers, our favorite and least favorite things about blogging, and anything we would’ve done differently. You can read what I said by clicking the link in the BLOGGING section.

Wanting

I want to watch SEE HOW THEY RUN. It looks like a fun movie with a star-studded cast. Have you seen it or watched the trailer? What do you think?

Needing

I need to become more healthy. I’m just not sure I can put in the effort needed to reach my goals while I’m in PTSD therapy. I’m already grumpy and irritable and I don’t want to push Corey over the edge any more than I already have because of my emotional dysregulation.

I’ll begin in earnest after I finish PTSD therapy. In the meantime, I’ll try to work on doing small things, like drinking more water, regulating my sleep schedule, eating less sugar, and maybe taking short bike rides in the evening. These changes might even help me regulate my emotions more effectively.

How was your week? Anything exciting happen?

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Sunday News #35

Sunday Post and Sunday Salon are blog news memes hosted at Caffeinated Reviewer and Reader Buzz, respectively. It’s a chance to share news, recap the past week on your blog, and showcase books and other things.
Feeling

I’m feeling happy. I got to spend some time with my BFF on Friday. Corey was out of town so we went out for sushi, played some MarioKart and watched SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME. It was a lot fun!

Blogging

This week on the blog:

Reading

I’m almost done with SOME OF IT WAS REAL by Nan Fischer. Unless something happens in the last part of the novel to change my mind, I’ll be giving this one four or four and a half stars. I’m excited to get back to WHERE THE CRAWDADS SING by Delia Owens once I’m done.

I’m also halfway through the HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE audiobook. It’s been so fun to listen to while I’ve been working on my blog.

Listening

I’ve decided to share a song from the Prisoner of Azkaban movie since I haven’t listened to any music this week due to listening to the Half-Blood Prince audiobook. This is “A Window to the Past” and plays when Harry and Lupin discuss Harry’s parents.

I learned in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) that life is full of dialectics, or two opposing truths. In this case, the two opposing truths are: 1) I don’t agree with JKR’s stance regarding trans people, and 2) I still love Harry Potter.

Watching

Corey and I finished watching all four of THE HUNGER GAMES movies. CATCHING FIRE is my favorite, but I do love them all.

We started watching the MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE movies. So far, we’ve watched the first three. This is one of my guilty pleasure franchises. Up to this point, my favorite in the series is ROGUE NATION.

I’m also excited that Food Network’s HALLOWEEN BAKING CHAMPIONSHIP starts its new season tomorrow. The second half of the finale of MASTERCHEF is this week too. Dara Yu, my favorite contestant, is one of the finalists. I really hope she wins.

Loving

I love my new blog theme. I’ve been working on it all this week. It’s almost done. I only have a few things left to do, like update some of my pages and create graphics for my posts to help give my blog a more cohesive look.

Wanting

I want the pinched nerve I have in my upper back to release.

Needing

I need to make a follow-up appointment with my doctor. I have a rash on my face. He thought it might be Rosacea and prescribed me an ointment to use. Unfortunately, it made the rash worse. About six years ago, I had an all-over body rash for almost three months. It was a weird form of Eczema and I had to use a steroid cream to help it go away. I still have some of the cream left so I’ve been using it instead of the other ointment. It seems to be helping, and the rash won’t disappear completely. It’s probably stress-related. It’s been a crazy few months.

How was your week? Anything exciting happen?

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Sunday News #34

Sunday Post and Sunday Salon are blog news memes hosted at Caffeinated Reviewer and Reader Buzz, respectively. It’s a chance to share news, recap the past week on your blog, and showcase books and other things.
Feeling

I’m feeling worn out. My PTSD therapy has been brutal. I’m reliving my trauma by listening to myself describe what happened in as much detail as possible over and over everyday. This is called exposure therapy.

The reason people have PTSD is because they subconsciously suppress their fear and panic by avoiding things that exacerbate their fear (i.e., reminders of their trauma (e.g., sounds, smells, people, places, situations)). If they gradually expose themselves to the memory of the trauma and anything that causes them to panic or feel fear, they’ll slowly get used to the memory and the things that exacerbate their fear will no longer cause an intense reaction. This doesn’t mean they won’t ever feel fear when they think of their trauma or do something that used to cause an intense reaction, but they will be able to tolerate it without a meltdown.

There are two steps to the exposure therapy process. The first one is called imaginal exposure, which is what I’m doing when I listen to myself describe what happened. The second one is called in vivo exposure, which is slowly exposing themselves to things that exacerbate their fear. For me, this includes 1) talking to my family, 2) saying or writing “Swann” over and over, and 3) having sex with Corey.

I’ll explain why I’m doing those particular things:

  1. My perpetrator IS my brother-in-law. My family tried to sweep what happened to me under the rug because they didn’t want to deal with the consequences of what he did. As such, I avoid contact with most of my family. Their invalidation is worse than the trauma itself. As part of my therapy, I do not have to contact my BIL unless I want to. I don’t.
  2. My BIL’s last name is Swann. Before I started therapy, I didn’t like hearing or seeing the word “Swann” or “swan.” I didn’t even want to see or think about the bird.
  3. Because of my trauma, I avoid participating in sexual intimacy with Corey. The main reason I’m doing this therapy is to help improve our relationship. It isn’t bad or anything; it’s just that the lack of sexual intimacy for 25 years of marriage has taken its toll.

Now that you know way more about me than you probably ever wanted to, let’s move on.

Blogging

This week on the blog:

Reading

I read, finished, and reviewed a book this week! I read THE GOOD SISTER by Sally Hepworth this week. You can click the link above to read my review if you want.

I also started listening to HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE. I thought it was time to finish my reread of the series that I started in 2020. I also started reading SOME OF IT WAS REAL by Nan Fischer. I’m not far enough in to determine my feelings yet. I hope I can get it done by Wednesday so I can start MISS ALDRIDGE REGRETS by Louise Hare.

I learned in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) that life is full of dialectics, or two opposing truths. In this case, the two opposing truths are: 1) I don’t agree with JKR’s stance regarding trans people, and 2) I still love Harry Potter.

Listening

I’ve been listening to some K-pop this week. Thanks to my friend Suey (It’s All About Books), I’ve listened to a lot of new bands this year. I’m going to share an “oldie,” however. It was one of the very first K-pop songs I listened to and it became and still is my favorite. It’s called “Fantastic” by Henry.

Watching

Corey and I rewatched the Daniel Craig Bond movies this week. I still think NO TIME TO DIE is the best Bond movie ever and Daniel Craig is the best Bond so far.

We also discovered the reboot of PASSWORD on Hulu. It’s hosted by Keke Palmer and stars Jimmy Fallon. I’m really enjoying it. I would’ve been mad, though, if I was a contestant on the episode with Meghan Trainor as the celebrity guest. She kind of sucked at the game.

Friday night we started watching THE HUNGER GAMES series. Every time I watch these movies, I love them more. All four movies are all-time my favorite book-to-movie adaptations.

Loving

I love this blogging community so much. I love how nice everyone is and how much everyone wants to read and comment on each other’s posts. I love the camaraderie and the interaction. I consider many of you friends now.

I started book blogging back in 2010. I found a group of book bloggers who live very close to me. We’re still friends IRL. I’m the only one who seems to be blogging anymore. Other than this group of friends, it always seemed hard back then to get others to comment on your blog unless you were one of the BIG ones. I do miss a lot of bloggers from yesteryear (), and I’m glad the community has morphed into what it is now.

Wanting

I want a fresh peach shake from one of the local restaurants. Their fresh peach and fresh strawberry shakes are the best!

Needing

I need to get some sleep. My eyes aren’t working today (Saturday) because I didn’t sleep a wink Friday night. It’s due to coming off of Seroquel, which is an anti-depressant that makes you drowsy and sleep really well. My body has grown dependent on it for sleep, making it hard to come off. I also started taking Phentermine, which is a stimulant.

Hopefully, I’ll sleep tonight. Depending on how much sleep I get, I may be responding to comments and blog hopping on Monday instead of today.

Phentermine is the safe half of what was Fen-Phen. Fen-Phen was made from a combination of two drugs and the “Fen” part caused a lot of health issues. I’m taking Phentermine as an appetite suppressant. I have no trouble eating healthy. I just eat a lot because I’m always hungry. My weight has been a struggle for the last 15 years especially. I’ll lose weight and then gain it back plus some. My hope is that with a healthy diet and exercise, Phentermine will help me not be hungry all the time so I eat less and lose weight.

How was your week? Anything exciting happen?

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Sunday News #33

Sunday Post and Sunday Salon are blog news memes hosted at Caffeinated Reviewer and Reader Buzz, respectively. It’s a chance to share news, recap the past week on your blog, and showcase books and other things.
Feeling

I’m still feeling a bit overwhelmed as I try to get in the swing of things with school. This week has been such a whirlwind of things happening, I’m still trying to make heads or tails of it all.

I accidentally slept through my alarm on Tuesday and missed my classes altogether. This put me on edge emotionally and I t started me down the path of wondering about what I actually want in life. I also spent some time thinking through what I want out of school.

It’s been more and more of a struggle to keep going to school due, in part, to my Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), PTSD, anxiety, and depression and, in part, to wondering if I’m going to school for ME or for other people. When I first quit my job in May 2018 to go to school, I decided after only one semester that I was going to school for my parents and stopped going.

I started going to school again last year because Doug, my therapist, said people with BPD do better with the skills they learn in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) if they’re working or going to school because it gives us a reason to get up and participate in life. I fully agree with him in this matter because when I don’t have something to live for, per se, I become severely depressed and in trouble of hurting myself. So, I decided I preferred going to school over working in a job I hated.

On Tuesday, however, when I asked myself if I’m going to school for me or others, I realized I really don’t want to be a math teacher. I adore math and I’m happy with my current knowledge of it. I don’t think learning more advanced math is going to help me achieve a life worth living. I decided what I want to do is actually hindered by school because I don’t have the time to devote to accomplishing those goals and, consequently, almost dropped back out. However, I realized I want to become fluent in Spanish and Japanese and school can help me accomplish those goals.

Let me explain why I want to become fluent in both Spanish and Japanese. I was in a Spanish immersion program for four years while I was in elementary school. I used to be pretty advanced in my Spanish speaking abilities, but I’ve lost a lot of it due to not using it. I also studied Japanese for two years while I got my Associate’s Degree.

I switched my major to Spanish. I would’ve declared Japanese as my minor, but my school doesn’t have one. They do have a proficiency certificate, though, which I’ll pursue along with my degree in Spanish.

Blogging

This week on the blog:

Reading

As I predicted last week, I didn’t get much reading done this week because of starting school on Monday. I did, however, spend some time reading before I went to bed last night. I started THE GOOD SISTER by Sally Hepworth. I’m really excited about this book!

Listening

I’ve been listening to my Faves playlist on the way to school each day. The song that stuck out to me the most this week is one of my very favorites. It’s the Glee version of “Somebody that I Used to Know” by Gotye.

I love this version as much as I do because one of the singers is Matt Bomer, one of my celebrity crushes. In this version of the song, Matt Bomer is Darren Criss’ (first singer) older brother.

Watching

I haven’t watched a lot of TV or movies this week. However, Corey and I had the chance to see ROGUE ONE on the IMAX on Friday night. It was awesome, except for the audio. It was, “just too darn loud.” (A little BACK TO THE FUTURE humor for you. ) When we got home from the movie, we immediately watched A NEW HOPE.

Loving

I love all three of my teachers. They’re all native speakers of their respective languages. My Japanese teacher’s from Nagoya, Japan. One of my Spanish teachers is from Spain and speaks with a very thick Spanish accent, which I adore. My other Spanish teacher is from Guatemala.

I love learning languages from native speakers because I get to hear authentic pronunciation and intonation. Also, they’ve all had to learn a second language so they understand what it’s like to be nervous speaking in front of others.

Wanting

I want to show you my cool new backpack. I love Vera Bradley and couldn’t resist this backpack when I saw it. (I took these pictures on Monday so my “I’m a Math Major” pin is still on the backpack.)

I also want to comment on other blogs today. I haven’t done any of that this week because I’ve been so busy. Thank you to those of you who still commented on mine even though I haven’t returned the favor!

Needing

I need to get a new license plate for my car. If I get one with my school’s mascot on it, I can park slightly closer to the school. Because those kinds of license plates can only have five digits, I want to customize it so it says OLLIE, which is the name of my car. If OLLIE’s already taken, I’ll substitute a zero for the O and a 1 for the I so it says 0LL1E.

How was your week? Anything exciting happen?

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