This past week has been difficult. Not only am I still dealing with the pain in my arm, I’m now also dealing with hives all over my body.

We’re not sure what’s causing the hives. It could be the turmeric I was taking to help the inflammation in my arm. It could be ibuprofen or the creams I’m using for pain relief. (I don’t think it’s the creams because the hives aren’t where I put the cream.) It could be Luci, even though I’ve never reacted to cats before. It could be something I’m eating. Or, it could be something else completely.

I can’t get into an immunologist until early December, which means I have to suffer through these hives until then or hope they go away by stopping the turmeric and ibuprofen, keeping Luci away from me for a few days, and / or changing my diet.

Right now, blogging, commenting, Instagramming, and even reading are the things I want to do the least. I really don’t feel like doing much more than vegging out in front of the TV. Consequently, I’m sad to tell you that I’m taking a hiatus from blogging and maybe social media in general until I’m in a better space. I’m not sure how long my hiatus will be. Hopefully, not too long because I love blogging and the blogging community too much! (If I do any reading, I’ll post to Goodreads if you want to be my friend there.)

Because I’ve already stopped taking turmeric, the inflammation in my arm’s back, which makes it much more difficult to stop the ibuprofen. I did get a cortisone shot yesterday. Hopefully, it will help with the pain. It may take up to two weeks for me to get the full benefits, however.

Thanks for understanding!

I posted my first post on this blog on June 23, 2007. It was about my excitement for the upcoming release of HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS. I laid out my predictions for that final installment. View Spoiler »

I can’t believe that was 15 years ago. Some years have been better than others, but I’ve really enjoyed my little corner of the internet. I debated whether I should say anything about my blogoversary since I haven’t blogged continuously the entire 15 years, and my blog now only shows posts from December 29, 2021 onward. (You can read about the whys if you’re interested.)

Blogging’s very cathartic for me. I love talking to people about the things I enjoy doing, especially reading and books. I love the creativity I get to express through blogging. And, I love all the friends I’ve made around the blogosphere. I actually met a lot of my IRL friends at different book events for bloggers in Utah. (There were a lot of us at one time. Now, I’m one of only a handful remaining.) I also have many online friends I’ve met through blogging, and I hope I can meet them IRL someday.

To celebrate my blogoversary, I’m hosting a giveaway for a book from The Book Depository (up to $15 value).  The giveaway will go until the end of June and I’ll announce the winner on July 4 (if my internet is up by then as I’m moving on July 1 and 2). The giveaway is open to any country The Book Depository ships.

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How long have you been blogging?

I learned in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) that life is full of dialectics, or two opposing truths. In this case, the two opposing truths are: 1) I don’t agree with JKR’s stance regarding trans people, and 2) I still love Harry Potter.

At the end of each year, I like to reflect on what happened during the year. Trigger warning. Only continue reading if you’re in a good space.

On March 1, I overdosed on Lithium and ended up in the hospital for a week. I was very lucky that with the amount of Lithium I took, I didn’t damage my kidneys. It was touch and go for many days. It was also a very hard recovery, but it opened my eyes and I realized that I never wanted to end up in that situation again.

My psychiatrist and therapist at the time pushed me to find a Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) program as I had been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder about seven months prior. Thankfully, I found a program fairly quickly and I’ve been working with Doug since the end of March.

DBT and Doug have been the greatest blessing in my life. Without DBT, I wouldn’t have been able to navigate this year. With Doug’s guidance, I’m back in school working toward finishing my BS in mathematics and I’m moving toward several of my other values (compasses that guide me in building a life worth living). It has been hard. It’s still hard. Sometimes, I want to quit. Sometimes, I still want to hurt myself AND I now have the skills to help me not act on ineffective urges.

I still have 4 to 4.5 months left in the program as DBT usually lasts for a year. I have a lot of anxiety that I won’t be ready to navigate the world by myself at the end of the program and like the DBT manual says, I try to be mindful and:

Rivet [myself] to now. Be completely present to this one moment. Throw [myself] completely into activities of the current moment.

It’s hard to do, and I know I can do hard things.

I’m really proud of what I’ve accomplished this year. I’ve come a long way from where I was on March 1. And, for the first time in a long time, I’m looking forward to the new year and the opportunities the future holds (better mental health, progress in school, quality time with family and friends, etc.).

One of the opportunities I’m taking advantage of is resurrecting my book blog. Well, I’m starting a new one, anyway, as there’s nothing left of the old one. I’m looking forward to connecting with other readers and bloggers.

Are you looking forward to 2022? Do you have any resolutions?

Here’s to many wonderful possibilities! May your new year be merry and bright!

Hello there!

I’m Jenni Elyse. I created this blog on June 23, 2007. Due to severe depression and anhedonia, I stopped blogging regularly around three and a half years ago. I’ve changed my blog’s concept more times than I can count during the 14.5 years since its inception. I’ve finally realized this is because I was trying to work through my anhedonia and keep my blog alive.

In the last three years, I’ve attempted to start my blog up again and again. However, I didn’t have the proper tools to fight my mental illnesses and they prevailed against my need to express myself creatively. Near the end of March, I started a new therapy called DBT (Dialectic Behavioral Therapy) that’s specially designed for individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I was diagnosed with BPD a little over a year ago. I can definitely tell a difference in how I’m dealing with distress and depression.

In one of my sessions with my DBT therapist, Doug, we figured out that creativity’s very important to me. Now that I’m able to focus on more than just crises and/or my depression, I feel like my creativity is waking up again. Doug pointed out that I talk a lot about blogging even though I wasn’t currently blogging, so he challenged me to start up my blog again. He told me that not only would it help me fight feeling depressed all the time, it’d also be a good way to use the skills I’m currently learning in DBT as I’m going to feel self-conscious or not able to continue at some point. Instead of giving in to my uncomfortable feelings like I’ve always done in the past, I can use my skills to work through my feelings and keep going.

I’m excited and nervous to be back since this is like take 5,003 on my blog. I hope you decide to join me and share this ride along with me.