I’ve been feeling blah this week. I haven’t felt well physically or mentally. I definitely haven’t felt like blogging or reading. Corey thinks the trauma I’m working through in my PTSD therapy is not only taking its toll on my mental health, but my physical health as well. It has been proven that our bodies often react physically to extreme stress and mine is acting in kind. I’ve been experiencing gastrointestinal discomfort, nausea, lack of appetite, cravings for sugar and carbs, dizziness, extreme fatigue, a facial rash, headaches, sore throat, sinus congestion, and body aches. It sounds like I have a cold, the flu, COVID, or something else, but I don’t. The symptoms come and go.
Even though I didn’t feel like blogging much this week, I did still post a few things. This week on the blog:
I’m sorry I haven’t responded to the comments on my posts yet. And, I’m even more sorry I haven’t commented on very many blogs this week. I probably won’t try to catch up on every post I missed as that would take days, but I am planning on spending some time today responding to the comments on my blog and commenting on other Sunday Posts. Thank you, all, for continuing to comment on my blog even though I’ve been absent.
I finished listening to the HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS audiobook. I loved every minute of it. It really helped this week when I was feeling distraught mentally and physically.
I haven’t read or even tried to read anything else. I really do hope I’ll feel like reading something this week. I may put WHERE THE CRAWDADS SING down, even though I’m enjoying the story. Maybe, I’ll keep reading one chapter a day and then turn my focus on something more light-hearted like LOVE ON THE BRAIN by Ali Hazelwood.
Since I haven’t been in the mood to read this week, I watched a few movies. I’m embarrassed about sharing this, especially since I grew up in a very sexually conservative religion and watching movies with nudity or that center around sex is frowned upon. If my family or some of my IRL friends read this, they’d probably be very disappointed in or shocked at my choices.
I’m also embarrassed because of the negativity associated with the Fifty Shades franchise because of its connection with and misrepresentation of BDSM. (At least that’s what I’ve read.) Still, I watched the trilogy this week because I was curious. I’m a huge fan of the Twilight Saga and I wanted to see what EL James took from Stephenie Meyer’s series to get FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. I don’t feel the need to read the books, but I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the movies.
The only reason I’m sharing this is one of the songs from the second movie, FIFTY SHADES DARKER, really captured my attention. It’s a cover of “The Scientist,” which is one of my favorite songs. I like Coldplay’s version better, but I really enjoyed this rendition too. This version is sung by Corinne Bailey Rae.
As I already said, I watched the Fifty Shades trilogy. I thought Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson were very believable in their roles. I also thought they had great chemistry. And, as I said above, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the stories.
I also broke down and watched the movie adaptation of WHERE THE CRAWDADS SING. I was going to wait until I finished reading the book, but I decided to watch the movie to help motivate me. I really enjoyed the movie and I’m more excited to read the book now if I can just get over this mental slump I’m in.
Even though I missed participating in the community this week, I loved taking a bit of a break. It was very restorative and I hope it has renewed my interest in reading, blogging, and commenting.
I wish I could go back to being oblivious in regards to my religion. I was happy in my ignorance. Now that I’ve opened my eyes, I feel constant shame and guilt for turning my back on how I grew up and what I used to believe. I’m trying to find a middle ground. It has been really difficult, though, because everything seems so black and white in religion.
I need to quit putting so much pressure on myself. I’m good the way I am. It’s okay if I’m in the middle of a faith crisis. It’s okay if I do things my friends and family wouldn’t do. It’s okay to become someone different than I expected. It’s okay not to have all the answers. I still have worth.
How was your week? Anything exciting happen?