December Book Club

Due to my recent health issues, this is the first time I’ve read my IRL book club’s book and attended the discussion since September. I’m glad I was able to go because not only do I love my book club, I look forward to December’s meeting all year.

We met in-person last Thursday evening to discuss December’s book, IN A HOLIDAZE by Christina Lauren. There were eleven of us who met together and only two people didn’t read the book. Here are some highlights of our discussion:

  • A couple of us really enjoyed the story, especially the romance part of it.
  • Most of the group thought it was fun but nothing to write home about. One of them didn’t think the big reveal was big enough. View Spoiler »
  • A few people really disliked the book. Interestingly, two of them don’t like the movie GROUNDHOG DAY either. The other person was just sick of implausible romances.
  • A couple of people wished there had been more GROUNDHOG DAY scenarios. I was okay with how that part happened. Although, I would’ve been okay with more as well.
  • Some of us liked the underlying message of seizing the day and taking life by the horns.
  • Most of us, if not all of us, loved that it’s set in Park City, Utah (about an hour from where we all live). This lead to a discussion about the authors. Most of us had no idea that Christina Hobbs (the Christina part of the duo) is local.
  • Some of us liked reading about the Christmas traditions Maelyn and her family/friends participate in each year. We liked that the story explored remembering why each tradition is important and not just going through the motions because that’s what’s always been done.

Even though IN A HOLIDAZE is mostly fluffy romance, we had a pretty good discussion. Next year, we want to find a Christmas murder mystery to read for the ones in the group that aren’t big romance fans. If you have any suggestions, let me know in the comments.

The rest of our book club was our annual Christmas party. For the party, we each bring a treat to share if we can. This year we had a wide variety–one of our member’s homemade shortbread cookies which are everyone’s favorites, peppermint Oreo ice cream pie, gingerbread cookies, apples with dip, and chips with homemade seven-layer bean dip. It was all really yummy.

We also have a book exchange. We each bring a wrapped book, one of our favorite reads from the year, and then we play a white elephant type swapping game using dice. Once each book is unwrapped, which took about 35 minutes for that to happen, we each roll the dice once more until ending on the last person who unwrapped a book. (If someone rolls “unwrap” during that last round, we let them roll again, steal someone’s book, or keep the one they have.)

For those interested in the dice game, here it is:

  • 2: Steal or stay the same
  • 3: Trade with someone wearing red
  • 4: Trade with the person on your right
  • 5: Pass once to the left
  • 6: Pass twice to the right
  • 7: Unwrap
  • 8: Pass twice to the left
  • 9: Pass once to the right
  • 10: Unwrap
  • 11: Trade with someone wearing green
  • 12: Steal or stay the same

We had quite a few awesome books up for grabs. I would’ve been happy with any of them. I brought A RIVER ENCHANTED by Rebecca Ross and I ended up with PEOPLE WE MEET ON VACATION by Emily Henry, which I’m very excited to read. The other books up for grabs were:

  • THE MEASURE by Nikki Erlick
  • RESCUE by Jennifer A. Nielsen
  • THE LAST HOUSE ON NEEDLESS STREET by Catriona Ward
  • I MUST BETRAY YOU by Ruta Sepetys
  • THE STORIED LIFE OF AJ FIKRY by Gabrielle Zevin
  • CRAVE by Tracy Wolff
  • BETTER THAN THE MOVIES by Lynn Painter
  • THE PASSION OF DOLSSA by Julie Berry
  • THE DARK DESCENT OF ELIZABETH FRANKENSTEIN by Kiersten White

Next month, we’re reading MY GRANDMOTHER ASKED ME TO TELL YOU SHE’S SORRY by Frederik Backman. I’m excited to read another book by him since I adored ANXIOUS PEOPLE earlier this year.

Anyway, have you read IN A HOLIDAZE? If so, what do you think about my book club’s discussion about it?

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September Book Club

Due to moving in July, and having LASIK surgery and my kitty Dax crossing the rainbow bridge in August, this is the first time I’ve read my IRL book club’s book and attended the discussion since June. I’m glad I was able to go.

We met in-person last Wednesday evening to discuss September’s book, THE GOOD SISTER by Sally Hepworth. There were eight of us who met together and we all read the book. Here are some highlights of our discussion:

  • A few of us guessed the twist early on. Two of them thought it ruined the suspense and thrill of the story and didn’t enjoy the story as much after that.
    • Even though I also guessed the twist early, it didn’t ruin the suspense or thrill for me. Instead of anticipating this, I anticipated how the resolution came about (if there is one) or how the characters will react to the big reveal and how it will affect what they do next.
  • The rest of the group really enjoyed the book, didn’t see the twist coming, and were surprised all around by what happened.
  • All of us thought the characters were well-developed and round, including the secondary characters.
  • All of us loved the one sister–her personality and character, especially her growth arc. View Spoiler »
  • A few of us didn’t like the last chapter. We thought it was overkill. One person even suggested that it felt like the ending to Hitchcock’s PSYCHO.

Before I went to book club, I hemmed and hawed about going. I worried about sharing some of my views. I didn’t want people to discount my thoughts on Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) because of thinking I was being too sensitive. One person said she thought it didn’t perpetuate the stigma like I did, which is fine. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. And, after two others members who have first-hand experience working with mental illness and/or BPD validated my views, I think it helped with understanding where I was coming from more.

*steps on soapbox* I talked about this in my review, and I think it’s worth stating again. Hepworth diagnoses the one sister as narcissistic or possible BPD. Based on the character’s actions and thoughts, it’s clear, however, Hepworth didn’t really understand either mental illness or how they manifest in real life. She probably saw a list of criteria and decided they fit, or she read the criteria and wrote the character with her limited understanding. (This is why there’s a need for sensitivity readers and/or own voices authors.)

Even though Hepworth’s diagnosis isn’t definite (“possible”), it does perpetuate the stigma associated with BPD, an already very stigmatized disorder. People with BPD are often perceived as being violent. This comes from one of the possible diagnosis criteria of having, and maybe a hard time controlling, irrational anger. Some people present anger outward in the form of yelling, screaming, throwing things, etc. Others, like me, present anger inward by directing the emotion at ourselves. (I rarely present anger outward.) When people with BPD act on violent urges, it’s normally in the form of self-harm or suicidal ideation. Of course, some of the people who present anger outward may also be violent against others. BPD, though, usually isn’t the actual cause of that kind of violence. BPD’s often diagnosed with other disorders. The most common are mood, eating, and substance abuse disorders. The combined presentations of these disorders MAY create a perfect storm of having and acting on outward violent urges.

Having BPD simply means that our emotions are more extreme than the general population. The difference between BPD and Bipolar Disorder is the duration of the highs and lows. BPD’s are shorter (i.e., minutes, hours, possibly days) than Bipolar’s (i.e., days, weeks, possibly months). Regulating our emotions is much more difficult with the extremes, which is why we often come across as whiny, needy, petty, or having a thin skin. Learning very specific coping skills in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is crucial for our well-being. *steps off soapbox*

Needless to say, we had a very interesting discussion about mental illness, BPD, neurodivergence, and society’s role in how we perceive and treat those with mental illness. It was very affirming to receive validation instead of the “you’re too sensitive about this” reaction.

I wish I could report on everything we discussed. Due to the nature of a psychological thriller, however, I can’t report on all the details without spoiling you. Hopefully, I’ve done a good enough job to make this post interesting and still let you experience THE GOOD SISTER on your own if you want to read it.

Next month, we’re reading FEED by Mira Grant (Seanan McGuire). I’ve been anticipating this book ever since someone nominated it as a possible book for book club. I’ve heard mixed reviews, but they’ve been generally positive.

Anyway, have you read THE GOOD SISTER? If so, what do you think about my book club’s discussion about it?

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June Book Club

My IRL book club met on Wednesday evening to discuss June’s book. We met in-person and discussed THE MIDNIGHT LIBRARY by Matt Haig. There were six of us who met together and five of us read the book. Here are some highlights of our discussion:

  • Everyone who read the book liked the premise and message.
  • A couple of people thought the book was predictable, but it didn’t change what they thought about it.
  • One person thought it was preachy, but it wasn’t hit-you-over-the-head preachy.
  • All of us who read the book are still thinking about it. We all think it’s a book that will stay with us for a long time.
  • I was the only one who felt Matt Haig wrote it about and for me.
  • View Spoiler »
  • A couple people said they had to suspend belief while reading about Nora’s experiences because they don’t think she’d be able to just jump into a life as easily as she seemed to.
  • After our discussion, the person who didn’t read it said she wasn’t going to read it. She said it sounded too preachy, even though the person who said it was told her it wasn’t a bad preachy.

This was a really interesting book club. We had a lot of great discussion about regret, living life fully rather than passively, and making life enjoyable. I love books like THE MIDNIGHT LIBRARY because whether you liked the book or not, its subject matter always encourages a lively exchange.

Next month, we’re all choosing a memoir to read. During our July meetup we’ll review each memoir. I hope this will be fun and garner a lot of discussion. Right now, I’m leaning toward reading:

  • AS YOU WISH by Cary Elwes,
  • TASTE by Stanley Tucci,
  • BECOMING by Michelle Obama,
  • FAILURE IS AN OPTION by H. Jon Benjamin,
  • GIRLS CAN KISS NOW by Jill Gutowitz, or
  • LET’S PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED by Jenny Lawson.

Have you read any of these memoirs? Which one do you think I should read? Or, do you recommend I read another one instead?

Anyway, have you read THE MIDNIGHT LIBRARY? If so, what do you think about my book club’s discussion about it?

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April Book Club

My IRL book club met on Wednesday evening to discuss April’s book. We met in-person and it was fun to get out and see people. We discussed DREAD NATION by Justina Ireland. There were eight of us who met together and all of us read the book. Here are some highlights of our discussion:

  • One person disliked the book. A couple of people thought the book was enjoyable and they won’t read the second book. The rest of us really enjoyed the book and are interested in reading the sequel DEATHLESS DIVIDE.
  • One person already read the sequel and it disappointed her. She’s the same person who disliked DREAD NATION. (I’m not sure if she disliked DREAD NATION because of the sequel or if she was hoping reading the sequel would help her like DREAD NATION more.)
  • A few of us said we really enjoy books, movies, and tv shows with zombies. A couple of others said they were indifferent about them. The others said they hate zombies and they don’t think they’re plausible.
  • One person was really interested in the science of it all–what caused the dead to rise, would a vaccine really work, could zombies evolve, etc.
  • Most of us liked the setting and how Ireland used it as a platform to address racism, oppression, and inequality.
  • Some of us wondered how the rest of the world fared in the story since the book focuses on Civil War Era United States.
  • View Spoiler »
  • View Spoiler »
  • One person thought Ireland started the duology with the dead rising in Gettysburg because it allows her to write a prequel if she wants to.

We had a really interesting conversation about zombies. After we talked about whether we liked the idea of zombies or not, we talked our preferences in types of zombies, favorite reason they could exist, the plausibility of an actual zombie apocalypse, and who’d survive. It was a lot of fun.

I gave everyone the bookmark I made for our upcoming list of books that we start reading for June’s meeting. I think, other than our Christmas party, getting our yearly bookmarks is the highlight of everyone’s year.

Next month’s book is CARVE THE MARK by Veronica Roth. I’m looking forward to reading this one. I’ve heard mixed reviews and I’m not sure where I’ll fall in the mix of opinions. I really liked the Divergent trilogy, including the ending, which I know was very controversial.

Anyway, have you read DREAD NATION? If so, what do you think about my book club’s discussion about it?

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Upcoming Book Club Picks

When I first joined my book club back in September 2011, the group was meeting after a three-month hiatus. They didn’t meet during the summer because it was too hectic with family vacations (that changed in 2013, though). Because we didn’t meet in the summer, we don’t pick our new list of books at the end of the year.

Every February or March, each person submits books they want to read. We then vote on the selections and the 12 books with the most votes win. Our reading schedule is from June to May of each year. (We still have two books left from our current schedule.)

Here are the books we picked for this upcoming reading year:

  • The Midnight Library by Matt Haig
  • A memoir of our choice
  • Lines of Courage by Jennifer A. Nielsen
  • The Good Sister by Sally Hepworth
  • Feed by Mira Grant
  • The Maid by Nita Prose
  • In a Holidaze by Christina Lauren
  • My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry by Frederik Backman
  • The Last Anniversary by Liane Moriarty
  • The Silence of Bones by June Hur
  • The Girls I’ve Been by Tess Sharpe
  • The Last Thing He Told Me by Laura Dave

I’m very happy with this list. I’m excited to read all of these books except THE MAID, but I think that’s because I don’t really know very much about it. I’m also excited to choose a memoir to read in July. I just have to figure out which one I want to read. Right now I’m leaning toward Stanley Tucci’s TASTE: MY LIFE THROUGH FOOD, but I’m not sure. Do you have any suggestions?

This year, we started our selection process in February and we had all our books voted for by our March meeting. I’m only just posting the list today because every year I make bookmarks for everyone so we can keep track of what we’re reading each month. Since I unveiled the bookmarks via text yesterday, I can share them online now too. I’m really happy with how they turned out.

Have you read any of the books on our list? Which ones do you recommend?

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