Sunday News #46
I’m feeling thankful. January was a tough month for me. Even though we figured out most of my health issues and nothing significant really happened, my depression reared its ugly head, accompanied by a healthy dose of anhedonia. I didn’t feel like doing anything I normally loved doing–blogging, reading, journaling, building LEGO, drawing, etc. Besides spending time with Corey and a few of my friends, the only thing I seemed to feel like doing was play my Switch … so I did.
I met with Doug, my therapist, this past week and we discussed how I was doing and feeling. He told me not to get down on myself. People recently done with Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) often go through the same thing I did. He said that when people feel in control of their urges, which happens after they graduate from therapy, they stop using their skills. At first it doesn’t seem like a big deal. As time goes on, however, we settle into our old patterns and behaviors. And, if left unchecked, we find ourself in crisis once again.
Fortunately, I didn’t let it get that far. I realized something was off and sought help. Now, I just need to keep using my skills, at least the ones I stopped using. (That “just” makes it sound so simple, lol.) Anyway, I wasn’t challenging my negative thoughts and urges. Instead of giving in to them, it’s much more effective to use Opposite Action and do the things I know help keep me in a good headspace, even when I don’t want to. So… here I am blogging again.
I haven’t blogged since January 4 so nothing to report.
I’m hoping to start reading MY GRANDMOTHER ASKED ME TO TELL YOU SHE’S SORRY by Frederik Backman in the next couple of days. It was my IRL book club’s pick for January.
I’ve been listening to my Faves playlist a lot this past week. One of the songs I always enjoy listening to is “Hearing Damage” by Thom Yorke.
Corey and I finished watching (rewatching for him) DEXTER this past week. I loved it. I loved the characters, the story, the relationships, and exploring Dexter’s nature.
We also watched DEXTER: NEW BLOOD this week (his first time too). I liked it, just not as much as the original series. I liked who Dexter’s new Dark Passenger took the form of and the overarching theme of the 10 episodes. We were very disappointed with the ending because it felt out of character for Dexter. I also felt like the ending undid all of Dexter’s growth in season 8 of the original series.
I really liked the actors in both. I think they all did a phenomenal job.
I really love my friends. I love spending time with them and I love being supportive. I hope I can always be someone they can count on to help them when they’re dealing with hard things.
I want to learn how to build websites and blogs. I know a little html and css. I also know how to customize most WordPress themes. I want to learn how to build them from scratch, though. I really love working on my blog and I think out of all my options, building websites and blogs would make me the happiest.
I need to figure out what to do in regards to school. I don’t think school will help me reach my building websites and blogs goal. Besides, I’ve been in school for 8.5 years and I have 103 credits in random subjects because of the lack of direction in my life. I’m no closer to getting my Bachelor’s than I was when I received my Associate’s back in 1999. I made an appointment with a general advisor for tomorrow to talk about my options. Maybe we can piecemeal a degree together so I can finally graduate.
How was your week? Anything exciting happen?
I too at times have my phases where I dont feel like doing anything. I am realised that reading or watching something nice makes my mood better
Yes, exactly. Even though I don’t want to do it, I know if I do, I’ll be happier in the long run. 😀
Friends and family are what’s important. I am glad you didn’t let it go too far before using back the skills you had learned! Have a great Sunday!
Thank you so much! I’m glad I recognized the signs and I’m glad I still spent time with Corey and my friends because they are what’s most important. 😀
Welcome back to blogging. Getting to know how to operate WordPress was a challenge for me so I stuck with Blogger, with all its flaws. I’d love to be able to build a better website too.
Have a great week.
Thanks, Harvee! 😀 I know WordPress is a struggle for quite a few people. I think our brains work differently because I don’t understand Blogger, lol. It’s good that there are a couple of options for those who learn and do differently. 😀
Winter is a time when I do a dive. Last week was like that for me. I decided to do some creative things and—happy day!—my mood shifted. You are wise to seek out your therapist. Good luck with getting things lined up to finish up a degree. I hope they can figure out something. And I’m glad to see you back here blogging!
Winter time is normally hard for me too. My mood usually starts taking at the beginning of November with the time change and doesn’t surface again until March or April. This year, however, I was lucky to have not have it tank until January. Two extra months of happiness. 😀 I’m glad doing some creative things has helped your mood. I find my mood does better when I force myself to do the things I love. 😀
That is wonderful that you recognized you needed to touch base with your therapist. My mom struggles with depression and she has been feeling that malaise lately, of not wanting to do anything and nothing is giving her joy. We are slowly working on it with her. I hope that you start to feel more you again soon.
Thanks, Erin! I hope your mom’s able to find things that help her as well. Depression and anhedonia are hard to deal with. Good luck to her! <3
It’s great to see you back and hopefully starting to enjoy blogging and reading again. Well done on seeking help and support too.
Thank you, Louise! 😀 I think I will. I just need to not put so much pressure on myself and remember to use my skills.
Glad to see you back! I was concerned about you and the lack of blogging but figured that you were working on the physical issues. Friends are invaluable, many times more so than family. They can be supportive without being ultra involved like family members tend to be. Don’t do like I did: 135 credits past a B.A. and no masters degree. I couldn’t decide what I wanted one in so I just took random classes to go up on the teacher pay scale.
Thank you so much, Margaret! 😀 I thought of you often during the last month. I hope things are going well. I look forward to catching up. 😀 At least you got went up the teacher pay scale as as result of all your classes. Hopefully, I can figure something out that’ll help benefit me as well.
Sorry January was so rough for you. I know I need to work on my negative self talk. But can’t seem to stop myself half the time from doing it when I start to get down. I’m glad you are doing your therapy! And glad to see you back! I wanted to learn html and all that good stuff, but then I decided I didn’t have time and reached out to have someone kind of do the main set up part of my blog and all that crazy stuff for me. It costs me, but I’m happy with it for now. Hope that February will be better for you!
Thank you, Lisa! 😀 Negative self-talk is so hard to avoid sometimes. Everyone does it to some degree, some just more than others.
I get putting off learning something because you don’t have the time. Right now, that’s all I have. I’m just trying to motivate myself to actually do something that’s worth while.
Hey nice to see you back! I’ve had a little bit of that as well- a lack of interest in my usual stuff. I used to post almost daily and lately I’ve been going once a week! Maybe I can get back on my schedule lol. But I can totally see that about DBT. Makes sense that when we feel better we fall back on old strategies (or not strategies). I can see myself doing that also.
Good luck with your school planning as well!
Thanks, Greg! 😀 I’m glad you post at least once a week. I hate seeing my online friends disappear. I know it’s the pot calling the kettle black since I basically disappeared for most of November, December, and January, lol. Hopefully, we can both keep pushing along. 😀 Good luck to us!
My daughter’s depression really hit hard in January too. I hope you are feeling better soon. Wow, I didn’t realize you had been in school for so long. I hope you and your advisor are able to figure something out. Have a great week!
I’m sorry to hear that, Cindy! I hope she’s able to manage it and have a better February.
Yeah, I’ve been going to school off and on since 1996. I didn’t go to school for more than 10 years when Corey was dealing with health issues and I needed to be the breadwinner for a long while. Now that I’m not the breadwinner, I can seem to kick my butt into gear, lol.
Depression and anhedonia (I had to google that) sounds like a nasty combination!
Glad you were able to start reading and I hope that book is good!
I loooooooooooooooooooooove Dexter so much!!!!! Michael C. Hall is equally great in Six Feet Under and that series is equally as great.
They are a nasty combo and I usually get hit with both of them. Anhedonia, I feel like, has been my constant companion my whole life, lol. You’d think I’d know how to handle it better, lol.
That’s good to know! Corey and I are looking for something to watch now that we’re done with DEXTER. I’d love to see Hall in something else. We’ll check it out. Thanks for the suggestion. 😀
Glad you are doing/feeling better. Life is so tough sometimes.
Thanks, Vicki! 😀
Welcome back. I missed you and have been thinking of you and hoping you’re ok. I’m glad you are. I hope you continue to battle your health issues and feel better. I think building websites would be a terrific career and it’s certainly something you should pursue.
Thanks, Wendy! 😀 I thought of you quite often while I was gone too. I’ve been keep up with you through Instagram at least. I hope all’s well on the home front.
Bless you, friend. It sounds like you are taking care of yourself which is such a positive thing to even when the work is hard. I’m glad you are back here but don’t let blogging keep you from finding joy because it adds to the pressure you are feeling. Take care.
Thanks so much, Anne! 😀 I am grateful for the skills I learned in DBT. Like you said, even thought they’re hard, they definitely help. I will definitely work on not putting too much pressure on myself. 😀
I’m happy to see your post. I was about to email to let you know that I was thinking about you.
I do that a lot with my CBT therapy. If I’m not in a lot of panic attack scenarios, I tend to slack off the things I’m supposed to be doing when things are calmer. And then when something comes up I’m in full panic again.
We started watching Shrinking on Apple and really like it so far.
Karen @For What It’s Worth
Thanks, Karen! 😀 I thought about you a lot too! I’m glad I was able to see what’s going on with you on Instagram at least. I need to get back into posting there as well. I seem to be pulling away from social media more and more. It’s an interesting feeling/sensation since I haven’t been without some social media since 2007.
I’ve heard great things about SHRINKING. It’s in our list to watch. We started LAST OF US last night. It’s currently going, though, so we can really binge except for the first four episodes. Maybe, I’ll check out SHRINKING next. 😀
I’m on social media way less than I used to be. It’s freeing but then I miss people sometimes lol
We had HBO free for a few days and we recorded the first few Last of Us eps and watched #3 (totally out of order lol) but it was very good.
I totally get that. I miss all my social media friends too. For some reason, though, I just can’t seem to spend more time online.
LAST OF US is so crazy! Each episode is so well written. Corey complained (but not really) that the show makes us care about people and then they die. I do agree that happens. It’s what makes the show great and compelling to watch.
It’s good that you are self-aware enough to catch things before they go too far. That in itself is quite a skill. I hope February is better for you!
Thanks, Tanya! 😀 I used to not be self-aware. Many years of therapy has taught me to act opposite of the urges that accompany my depression and anxiety. In that sense, being self-aware’s a blessing and a curse, lol. I can no longer give in to my urge to wallow in my depression. Knowing that helps me be more productive, helping me overcome the symptoms of my depression and anxiety.
Good luck with school!
Thanks, Jill! 😀 I didn’t end up going this semester due to chronic illness. I hope I can go in the summer.
Glad you are back to blogging! And I agree you need to figure out how to make your schooling fit to your love of website building. That would be so awesome!
Thanks, Suey! Obviously, I’m still having issues posting regularly and reading anything. Although, I do feel a small desire to read something. That’s something! 😀
It is good to see you posting again. I hope things are going well for you this week. I think Doug’s words apply to so many different scenarios and it’s so true. I need to remember that myself. It’s all too easy to be hard on ourselves too. I’m good at that unfortunately.
Hopefully you and the college advisor can come up with a plan. I sometimes think about going back to school and taking a couple of classes. I always have an excuse not to though. Maybe someday!
I hope you have a great week!
Thanks! 😀 I’m still having trouble posting regularly. Hopefully, I can get back in the habit. I agree about Doug’s words applying to so many different scenarios.