Sunday News #19
Feeling
I’ve felt a little overwhelmed from trying to transition to the next step in my DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) progression. As I stated last week, I graduated on May 12, which means I no longer go to group sessions and I only see Doug, my therapist, when I need him versus seeing him at an appointed time every week. It has triggered my fear of abandonment, which is one of the key symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I have to keep checking the facts and reminding myself that Doug’s still available through booster sessions. It’s just different than it was before.
I also feel excited, nervous, and proud because I was interviewed by a Huffington Post reporter about how the Johnny Depp v. Amber Heard trial is affecting those with BPD. Some of you may know that Depp’s legal team has alleged that Heard has BPD, which is fine. The problem is that many of the people who believe Heard is the problem in the relationship are saying things online like, “No wonder she’s abusive. She has BPD,” implying that violence is synonymous with BPD. It’s been really hard to see those reactions, actually. BPD is already very stigmatized and this very public trial is further stigmatizing it. Anyway, the reporter sent me the link to the article on Thursday and it’s very well-researched and -written. If you take the time to read it and not just base your opinion on the title or tagline (like some have), it may help further the conversation about BPD.
Blogging
This week on the blog:
Reading
I didn’t read anything AGAIN this week. I’m just so stressed with everything going on–selling our place, new semester starting, graduating from therapy, etc.–that I can’t seem to sit down and read. I’m feeling too anxious. Maybe, I should’ve put that up in the “Feeling” section. I’m hoping as I get more and more used to my new schedule, I’ll be able to relax a little bit and read again.
Listening
To help calm my nerves, I’ve been listening to a lot of Enya, specifically her A DAY WITHOUT RAIN album. My favorite song on that album is “Only Time.” A lot of people know this song from the Charlize Theron and Keanu Reeves movie SWEET NOVEMBER.
Watching
Corey and I are still really enjoying the new STAR TREK: STRANGE NEW WORLDS TV show on Paramount+. I really love Anson Mount as Pike and Ethan Peck as Spock. I especially love Mount’s hair. Ha! I’ve told my husband he needs to grow his hair out and style it like Pike. It reminds me, though not quite the same, of Ewan McGregor’s hair in JACK AND THE GIANT SLAYER. (Maybe, I should’ve put this in the “Loving” section. )
I also watched TOP GUN for the first time ever. I know, right? Anyway, am I the only one who thinks Kelly McGillis and Tom Cruise don’t go together, like at all? I thought she was fine in WITNESS with Harrison Ford, but opposite Tom Cruise? Really? She would’ve worked way better opposite Val Kilmer, IMHO.
Loving
I love my Nintendo Switch. I also love Animal Crossing: New Horizons (ACNH). When the pandemic first started, I wasn’t in DBT yet and I had a hard time regulating my anxiety. The way I got through 2020 was by playing ACNH for anywhere from six to 12 straight hours each day for almost a year. I’ve clocked 1600+ hours on the game according to Nintendo. Anyway, to help calm my nerves this week, I’ve broken out ACNH for a couple of hours for a couple of days. It’s been nice to ignore everything.
Wanting
I want to get LASIK. Distance seeing and reading have become a huge problem for me. I have progressive lenses and I still take my glasses off more than I use them when I read or take notes. It’s a problem with school because I need my glasses to see the board. I can’t keep taking off and putting on my glasses while I’m in class or doing homework. Not only is it annoying and impossible to actually do anything productive, it also gives me very painful headaches.
Needing
I need our place to sell quickly. Every time we have a showing or open house, it’s very stressful and scary for our cats. I feel bad that they’re so scared.
How was your week? Anything exciting happen?
So I’m not accused of defending Heard’s behavior, I think Depp’s in the right in this instance. I don’t condone Heard’s behavior at all. AND, just because someone has BPD doesn’t mean they’re violent. I don’t have a violent bone in my body.
I did Lasik, not so recently and it absolutely changed the world for me. I wore glasses since childhood and this decision came after a lot of discussion and research. And I don’t regret it at all. I hope you find a relief too, do what works for you.
Also, I am yet to see TOP GUN, but I will before I see the new one.
Thank you! 😀 I hope LASIK helps me too. I hope you enjoy TOP GUN. I’m looking forward to the new one. It looks like fun.
Congrats on being interviewed and being able to be so open about BPD. The article was really well thought-out and very interesting. Oooh my ACNH island must be infested by bugs. I also bought it at the beginning of the pandemic and played it for a good year. It’s a soothing game. I’m also interested in getting refractive eye surgery. I spoke with my optometrist and now I’ve got to call the schedule coordinator to make an appointment with the surgeons to see if I qualify and for which surgery as there are many now! Both of my parents have gotten it done, 10+ years ago, and they’ve been happy with it.
Thanks, Elyse! 😀 Thanks for reading the article too.
Ha! My island was overrun by weeds and my house had so many cockroaches in it, lol. Everything is back to a 5-star rating. It really is a soothing game. I love it so much.
Good luck on deciding which surgery you want. I’ve thought about other surgeries and looked into them. I think LASIK will work the best for me. I’m going to fix my distance vision and wear reading glasses as I need them. 🙂 That’s what my mom did and she loved it. She went from being almost legally blind to only needing glasses to read.
Congratulations on the interview. I have been watching the trial. I know people with BPD and for me it has nothing to do with that. Amber is not coming across as believable, and that audio of her taunting Johnny and telling him nobody would believe he’s a victim of abuse because he’s a man is very concerning.
Yes, I agree. It has nothing to do with her alleged BPD. While I do believe mental illness plays a role in who she behaves, not everyone manifests the same. Even in her alleged BPD caused her to be violent, it doesn’t mean everyone with BPD is violent. Also, people with BPD can learn to control their emotions and urges. That’s what I’ve been doing for the last year in DBT. If Amber Heard does has BPD, she could’ve found the right therapy to help her manage her emotions better.
Sorry you’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed with your therapy, but you must have made good progress to have graduated from the regular sessions. I can understand how frustrating must be to read all these negative views about BPD, but well done for getting your views across. It’s great that you’re educating people and helping to erase the stigma.
I haven’t been reading lately either, for similar reasons. I can’t wait to see Star Trek: Strange New Worlds when it’s available in the UK. It looks great.
Thank you, Anstice! 😀 I’m sorry you haven’t been reading lately either. I hope life calms down enough for both of us so we can start reading again.
I absolutely agree with you on the stigma attached to most mental health diagnoses. Good for you to have your say in an interview. I love that Enya song and when I think of relaxing and spa I think of Only Time. I hope things get easier for you soon. Have a great week.
Thank you, Jodie! 😀 Yes, “Only Time” is my go to relaxation song. I love the whole album. I love many of Enya’s other songs too, but “Only Time” is my favorite.
I have not been watching or following the Johnny Depp trial at all. I always feel like you can never really know what goes on inside a marriage/relationship unless you’re the one in it.
I have not heard an Enya song in such a long time, I love her music.
I actually agree with you. While I tend to believe Johnny more than Heard in this case, I don’t believe that Depp has no culpability. I just don’t think he was physically abusive and I don’t think his career should’ve been ruined the way it was because of her allegations. (I hate cancel culture.) And, only God knows what happened, besides Depp and Heard. We could be completely wrong about everything.
Hi Jenni!
I love your openness with BPD and for taking part in creating more positive awareness on the disease. You go girl!!
Lots of Love,
Elza Reads
Thanks, Mareli! 😀 That means a lot.
I had LASIK and I worked in an ophthalmology practice for 9 years (not with the LASIK doctor). The last I heard, LASIK is really only for distance correction. There might be some more unconventional options surrounding the surgery but be sure to talk to your doctor about those so you have realistic expectations about outcomes if you decide to pursue it. It’s really nice not to wear contacts but my eyes are pretty dry since I had the surgery in 2008. It’s a common side effect.
I didn’t realize Strange New Worlds started already. We just started watching Discovery this year. I really liked Captain Pike so I was excited to see that he got his own show.
I haven’t paid the least attention to the Depp/Heard trial but I have relatives who have defended Depp since the first allegations were made. We didn’t know anything about anything at that point, so that irritated me. Just because someone is famous and plays characters you like, doesn’t mean they’re automatically a likeable person. They should have waited before they said anything. But it sounds like more information is coming out now so people can make informed decisions. I’m sorry the trial is causing you anxiety. It’s terrible when people who share a diagnosis/characteristic/trait all get lumped together in a negative light. But good for you for sharing your feelings about the negative publicity.
I see your graduation is kind of a mixed blessing for you, but I hope you adapt to your new schedule soon.
Enjoy your week!
Thanks, Jen! 🙂
Thanks for the advice on LASIK. I was planning on just correcting my distance vision and wearing reading glasses. My mom was almost legally blind and when she had her cataract surgery, she had LASIK. Her distance was corrected and she wore reading glasses for the rest of her life and she was happy as can be. I think I’d like that.
I was one of the people who thought Heard was lying in the beginning. It wasn’t because I’m a Depp fan even though I am. Before she was married to Depp, I had read an article that she was abusive to her previous girlfriend that tipped me off. I don’t think Depp’s not culpable for anything, though. I just don’t think he’s physically abusive as she claims and I don’t think his career should’ve suffered the way it has. (I hate cancel culture.)
I hope your house sells quickly and you get settled into your new school session easily.
Anne – Books of My Heart This is my Sunday Post
Thanks, Anne! 😀
Girl, that’s a lot to deal with all at one time! I hope your place sells soon and you are able to get settled into a new place quickly. I am sure that, and being able to develop a solid routine will help. We are a family that thrives on routines and we’ve been out of whack for weeks. I am also looking forward to settling into a routine as it will lower our anxiety as well. Just do what you can and give yourself grace for what you can’t.
Thanks, Cindy! 😀 Yes, routines are so much easier to deal with than a crazy, who-knows-what’s-going-on kind of schedule. Good luck with getting your house and family back in a routine and thanks for the advice. 💜
I’m so sorry for all you are going through. I do hope your house sells soon.
Strange New Worlds is coming up on my list of shows to watch. I’m looking forward to it.
Hope you have a great week!
Thanks, Yvonne! 💜 I hope you enjoyed Strange New Worlds as much as I have.
Enya’s music is so relaxing. I don’t know if you’re familiar with Clannad (an Irish group) but I think she’s related to some of the band members. I listened to them for years without knowing that. 🙂 Anywayyy… good luck with everything and that’s neat you were interviewed about BPD and the trial. I’m going to go read that.
Aww your poor kitties. I hope it sells quickly. And I want to watch strange New Worlds…
I have heard of Clannad and I know one of their songs because it was on the score for THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS movie. It’s the only song I’ve listened to, though. I did know that Enya was related to one of them. 😀 I should listen to more of their music.
Thanks so much. 💜 I hope you enjoy Strange New Worlds when you get to it.
YES that Mohicans song is the bomb!
I’ve been enjoying Star Trek Strange New Worlds too. I watched the pilot of the original Star Trek this week because it had Capt. Pike, No 1, etc…. It was very interesting to compare. Hope you have a better week!
I struggle with the original Star Trek series. For one thing, I’m not a fan of Shatner. 🫣 I know, lol. And, I struggle with the effects of movies/tv shows from the 60s and 70s. The stories were amazing, though.
I’m off to read the article, congratulations on the interview and it’s good to hear that BPD is getting some positive press for once. You are such an inspirational person! Have a good week and fingers crossed you manage some reading.
Thanks, Louise! 😀 I appreciate it!
The interview was very interesting. I hadn’t heard about the celebrities’ problems and I wasn’t familiar with BPD, so I learned a lot from reading the article.
I would love to watch the new Star Trek series, but I will not buy another streaming service for just one show.
I glad you found the article interesting and that you learned something from it. That is my hope. 😀
I understand about not wanting to pay for another streaming service for just one show. Luckily, I watch a few shows on Paramount+. Most of them are all Star Trek, but I do watch a couple of other things like THE AMAZING RACE and the new adaptation for THE STAND. I also watch movies I can’t get on other services so I don’t mind paying for it.