Sunday News #19
Feeling
I’ve felt a little overwhelmed from trying to transition to the next step in my DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) progression. As I stated last week, I graduated on May 12, which means I no longer go to group sessions and I only see Doug, my therapist, when I need him versus seeing him at an appointed time every week. It has triggered my fear of abandonment, which is one of the key symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I have to keep checking the facts and reminding myself that Doug’s still available through booster sessions. It’s just different than it was before.
I also feel excited, nervous, and proud because I was interviewed by a Huffington Post reporter about how the Johnny Depp v. Amber Heard trial is affecting those with BPD. Some of you may know that Depp’s legal team has alleged that Heard has BPD, which is fine. The problem is that many of the people who believe Heard is the problem in the relationship are saying things online like, “No wonder she’s abusive. She has BPD,” implying that violence is synonymous with BPD. It’s been really hard to see those reactions, actually. BPD is already very stigmatized and this very public trial is further stigmatizing it. Anyway, the reporter sent me the link to the article on Thursday and it’s very well-researched and -written. If you take the time to read it and not just base your opinion on the title or tagline (like some have), it may help further the conversation about BPD.
Blogging
This week on the blog:
Reading
I didn’t read anything AGAIN this week. I’m just so stressed with everything going on–selling our place, new semester starting, graduating from therapy, etc.–that I can’t seem to sit down and read. I’m feeling too anxious. Maybe, I should’ve put that up in the “Feeling” section. I’m hoping as I get more and more used to my new schedule, I’ll be able to relax a little bit and read again.
Listening
To help calm my nerves, I’ve been listening to a lot of Enya, specifically her A DAY WITHOUT RAIN album. My favorite song on that album is “Only Time.” A lot of people know this song from the Charlize Theron and Keanu Reeves movie SWEET NOVEMBER.
Watching
Corey and I are still really enjoying the new STAR TREK: STRANGE NEW WORLDS TV show on Paramount+. I really love Anson Mount as Pike and Ethan Peck as Spock. I especially love Mount’s hair. Ha! I’ve told my husband he needs to grow his hair out and style it like Pike. It reminds me, though not quite the same, of Ewan McGregor’s hair in JACK AND THE GIANT SLAYER. (Maybe, I should’ve put this in the “Loving” section. )
I also watched TOP GUN for the first time ever. I know, right? Anyway, am I the only one who thinks Kelly McGillis and Tom Cruise don’t go together, like at all? I thought she was fine in WITNESS with Harrison Ford, but opposite Tom Cruise? Really? She would’ve worked way better opposite Val Kilmer, IMHO.
Loving
I love my Nintendo Switch. I also love Animal Crossing: New Horizons (ACNH). When the pandemic first started, I wasn’t in DBT yet and I had a hard time regulating my anxiety. The way I got through 2020 was by playing ACNH for anywhere from six to 12 straight hours each day for almost a year. I’ve clocked 1600+ hours on the game according to Nintendo. Anyway, to help calm my nerves this week, I’ve broken out ACNH for a couple of hours for a couple of days. It’s been nice to ignore everything.
Wanting
I want to get LASIK. Distance seeing and reading have become a huge problem for me. I have progressive lenses and I still take my glasses off more than I use them when I read or take notes. It’s a problem with school because I need my glasses to see the board. I can’t keep taking off and putting on my glasses while I’m in class or doing homework. Not only is it annoying and impossible to actually do anything productive, it also gives me very painful headaches.
Needing
I need our place to sell quickly. Every time we have a showing or open house, it’s very stressful and scary for our cats. I feel bad that they’re so scared.
How was your week? Anything exciting happen?
So I’m not accused of defending Heard’s behavior, I think Depp’s in the right in this instance. I don’t condone Heard’s behavior at all. AND, just because someone has BPD doesn’t mean they’re violent. I don’t have a violent bone in my body.
I totally agree with your take on “Top Gun” and the lack of chemistry between Cruise and McGillis. Of course I should start off by saying that I’m not a TC fan. I AM a Trekker though and think that the new Pike’s hairstyle isn’t too different from Jeffrey Hunter’s look in the original. I was madly in love with Jeffrey Hunter. I haven’t followed the Depp/Heard situation closely so it was interesting to read about it. They both appear to lead such troubling lives.
I’ll have to look up Jeffrey Hunter as Pike when it’s not so late. I love Star Trek, except for the original TV show. I know. I’m just not a huge fan of Shatner and call me privileged, but I can’t stand the special effects, lol. I like the movies with the original cast, though. I can stomach Shatner during each of those … sort of.
I agree. Depp and Heard both appear to lead troubling lives. I think Depp is an addict and Heard is volatile and physically violent. Who knows, though? We all could be so wrong. The only people who really know are Depp and Heard.
I have a fear/phobia of eye things but I’m at the point where I want to see more lol
I had been meaning to read that article but kept getting sidetracked so I’m glad you have the link. I haven’t read or watched anything about the trial (Although I feel like it know it all anyway because it’s inescapable). My take is no matter what we see or read we don’t KNOW them so I don’t put a lot of stock in taking sides. They both seem troubled and it’s sad for all involved.
You have A LOT going on right now. House selling is extremely stressful and it’s coinciding with reduced therapy but all the same tools are there, Doug is still there so you’ve got this!
Karen @For What It’s Worth
I agree on your take regarding the trial. And, even if we did know them, we weren’t there. Only Heard and Depp knows what really happened. The rest of us can only speculate.
Thanks for the encouragement. 💜
I confess that I am not following the trials but hearing all the people talking about BPD must not be easy!
I’m not really following the trial very closely either, at least anymore. And, yes, it’s hard to listen to the comparisons made by people who don’t really know anything about BPD. That’s why I talk about it, though. If I can help one person understand, then I’ve made a difference.