Sunday News #33
Feeling
I’m still feeling a bit overwhelmed as I try to get in the swing of things with school. This week has been such a whirlwind of things happening, I’m still trying to make heads or tails of it all.
I accidentally slept through my alarm on Tuesday and missed my classes altogether. This put me on edge emotionally and I t started me down the path of wondering about what I actually want in life. I also spent some time thinking through what I want out of school.
It’s been more and more of a struggle to keep going to school due, in part, to my Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), PTSD, anxiety, and depression and, in part, to wondering if I’m going to school for ME or for other people. When I first quit my job in May 2018 to go to school, I decided after only one semester that I was going to school for my parents and stopped going.
I started going to school again last year because Doug, my therapist, said people with BPD do better with the skills they learn in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) if they’re working or going to school because it gives us a reason to get up and participate in life. I fully agree with him in this matter because when I don’t have something to live for, per se, I become severely depressed and in trouble of hurting myself. So, I decided I preferred going to school over working in a job I hated.
On Tuesday, however, when I asked myself if I’m going to school for me or others, I realized I really don’t want to be a math teacher. I adore math and I’m happy with my current knowledge of it. I don’t think learning more advanced math is going to help me achieve a life worth living. I decided what I want to do is actually hindered by school because I don’t have the time to devote to accomplishing those goals and, consequently, almost dropped back out. However, I realized I want to become fluent in Spanish and Japanese and school can help me accomplish those goals.
Let me explain why I want to become fluent in both Spanish and Japanese. I was in a Spanish immersion program for four years while I was in elementary school. I used to be pretty advanced in my Spanish speaking abilities, but I’ve lost a lot of it due to not using it. I also studied Japanese for two years while I got my Associate’s Degree.
I switched my major to Spanish. I would’ve declared Japanese as my minor, but my school doesn’t have one. They do have a proficiency certificate, though, which I’ll pursue along with my degree in Spanish.
Blogging
This week on the blog:
Reading
As I predicted last week, I didn’t get much reading done this week because of starting school on Monday. I did, however, spend some time reading before I went to bed last night. I started THE GOOD SISTER by Sally Hepworth. I’m really excited about this book!
Listening
I’ve been listening to my Faves playlist on the way to school each day. The song that stuck out to me the most this week is one of my very favorites. It’s the Glee version of “Somebody that I Used to Know” by Gotye.
I love this version as much as I do because one of the singers is Matt Bomer, one of my celebrity crushes. In this version of the song, Matt Bomer is Darren Criss’ (first singer) older brother.
Watching
I haven’t watched a lot of TV or movies this week. However, Corey and I had the chance to see ROGUE ONE on the IMAX on Friday night. It was awesome, except for the audio. It was, “just too darn loud.” (A little BACK TO THE FUTURE humor for you. ) When we got home from the movie, we immediately watched A NEW HOPE.
Loving
I love all three of my teachers. They’re all native speakers of their respective languages. My Japanese teacher’s from Nagoya, Japan. One of my Spanish teachers is from Spain and speaks with a very thick Spanish accent, which I adore. My other Spanish teacher is from Guatemala.
I love learning languages from native speakers because I get to hear authentic pronunciation and intonation. Also, they’ve all had to learn a second language so they understand what it’s like to be nervous speaking in front of others.
Wanting
I want to show you my cool new backpack. I love Vera Bradley and couldn’t resist this backpack when I saw it. (I took these pictures on Monday so my “I’m a Math Major” pin is still on the backpack.)
I also want to comment on other blogs today. I haven’t done any of that this week because I’ve been so busy. Thank you to those of you who still commented on mine even though I haven’t returned the favor!
Needing
I need to get a new license plate for my car. If I get one with my school’s mascot on it, I can park slightly closer to the school. Because those kinds of license plates can only have five digits, I want to customize it so it says OLLIE, which is the name of my car. If OLLIE’s already taken, I’ll substitute a zero for the O and a 1 for the I so it says 0LL1E.
How was your week? Anything exciting happen?
I feel the angst of your soul-searching to discover what you truly want. Take your time in finding what is right for you. It certainly sounds like you have a keen interest in learning languages – do what you feel passionate about. We spend so much of our lives working that it’s important to enjoy what you do. Take care and have a wonderful week ahead.
Thanks, Jodie! 😀 I love what you have to say about doing something I feel passionate about. I think that’s so important. I don’t want to be miserable because I’m doing something I don’t like. 💜
I like the design on the backpack.
Figuring out what to do seems hard at first but, once you find out what you like it all comes together.
Have a great week.
Thanks, Ann! 😀 Agreed! There are so many things I’d love to do that just aren’t feasible. Hopefully, my decision has helped me find something I’ll enjoy and feel passionate about.
I am glad to hear that you have been able to figure out something that you love and working through it. Hope you figure out what works out best for you in the long run. I hope you enjoy that Hepburn novel.
Thanks! 😀 I hope I can too. And, so far, THE GOOD SISTER is very intriguing. I definitely want to keep reading it.
Going back to school and figuring out what you want to do is tough but I’m glad you were able to pivot. I love the backpack and now you need an I’m a Spanish Major pin!
I saw your question on my blog about pain meds for leukemia kids and it’s kind of complicated. They can’t have any meds that might hide a fever so that rules out tylenol, advil, and aspirin. He’s not old enough for hydrocodone and that kind of pain medicine. Morphine is what’s typically used but he is allergic to it so that rules that out. There are some things he can take but we have to be careful with them. Probably way more information than you wanted to know!
Thank you so much for answering my question, Katherine. 😀 I don’t know much about how having leukemia as a child affects what you can and can’t do. My husband was diagnosed with Chondrosarcoma about 14 years ago. He’s okay now, and he still can’t do or take some specific things due to his cancer. I’m so sorry Will can’t take anything to help ease the pain. I’m also allergic to Morphine, but I can take other meds. I hope the pain Will’s feeling won’t last too long. 💜
Cool Vera backpack. Hope this week goes well for you and happy reading.
Thank you so much! 😀
Love the Vera Bradley bag and I especially love Stitch. I have so many Vera Bradley handbags and one backpack. They are all so cute! The school change you made sounds very positive. It’s very important to self reflect and make changes as needed. Have a great week!
Thanks, Tessa! 😀 Stitch is one of my spirit animals, lol. I always love finding others who love him too.
It’s good that you are thinking about why you are going to school and what your goals are. Majoring in Spanish sounds fun to me (though I must admit I don’t really speak a lot of math).
Thanks, Deb! 😀 I don’t want to keep wasting my money on getting a degree I don’t really want. Spanish is such a great language and there’s so much use for it in the US. I think it’ll be a good move!
Nice to hear you got your school goals sorted. I hope you enjoy your education path! Happy reading!
Thanks, Rachel! 😀
Thank you for Glee! I love that series and that excerpt was perfect! I love speaking other languages! I am fluent in three languages and can understand three more so I totally get it! Good luck with your new major!
Thanks, Sophie! 😀 That’s so cool that you can speak and understand so many languages. I took French for four years in high school, Russian for one year, and German for a semester. Unfortunately, the only language I can speak if I’m put in a situation where I have to speak it is Spanish. I’m not fluent, but I do understand it quite well. I can speak a little Japanese, but I have a hard time understanding native speakers. Hopefully, my new path will help me improve both Spanish and Japanese. 😀
Love your backpack so much! Also, I’m glad you made those tough decisions and are going for something you feel passionate about. Wishing you luck with the rest of school and your new major!
Thanks, Lindsey! 😀 I appreciate the well wishes!
It’s great to hear you’ve found a better for you path to take at school. It’s so easy to end up doing things because of pressure from family and friends, so I’m pleased that you’ve found something to study that makes you feel good.
Thanks, Louise! 😀 I’m glad I’ve found something that helps me feel good about my path as well.
I’m glad you allowed yourself to reassess what you want/need from school. There’s nothing wrong with changing things if it’s not working for you anymore. I hope it is less stressful for you now that You are taking what you enjoy.
We’re finishing up The Orville tonight.
That backpack is just too cute!
Karen @For What It’s Worth
Thanks, Karen! 😀 I think this will definitely be a much better path for me. That’s awesome that you’re finishing up The Orville! It’s one of my favorite shows and I think season 3 is the best so far.
Love that backpack!!
Thanks, Sara! 😀