I’ve felt a little overwhelmed from trying to transition to the next step in my DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) progression. As I stated last week, I graduated on May 12, which means I no longer go to group sessions and I only see Doug, my therapist, when I need him versus seeing him at an appointed time every week. It has triggered my fear of abandonment, which is one of the key symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I have to keep checking the facts and reminding myself that Doug’s still available through booster sessions. It’s just different than it was before.
I also feel excited, nervous, and proud because I was interviewed by a Huffington Post reporter about how the Johnny Depp v. Amber Heard trial is affecting those with BPD. Some of you may know that Depp’s legal team has alleged that Heard has BPD, which is fine. The problem is that many of the people who believe Heard is the problem in the relationship are saying things online like, “No wonder she’s abusive. She has BPD,” implying that violence is synonymous with BPD. It’s been really hard to see those reactions, actually. BPD is already very stigmatized and this very public trial is further stigmatizing it. Anyway, the reporter sent me the link to the article on Thursday and it’s very well-researched and -written. If you take the time to read it and not just base your opinion on the title or tagline (like some have), it may help further the conversation about BPD.
This week on the blog:
I didn’t read anything AGAIN this week. I’m just so stressed with everything going on–selling our place, new semester starting, graduating from therapy, etc.–that I can’t seem to sit down and read. I’m feeling too anxious. Maybe, I should’ve put that up in the “Feeling” section. I’m hoping as I get more and more used to my new schedule, I’ll be able to relax a little bit and read again.
To help calm my nerves, I’ve been listening to a lot of Enya, specifically her A DAY WITHOUT RAIN album. My favorite song on that album is “Only Time.” A lot of people know this song from the Charlize Theron and Keanu Reeves movie SWEET NOVEMBER.
Corey and I are still really enjoying the new STAR TREK: STRANGE NEW WORLDS TV show on Paramount+. I really love Anson Mount as Pike and Ethan Peck as Spock. I especially love Mount’s hair. Ha! I’ve told my husband he needs to grow his hair out and style it like Pike. It reminds me, though not quite the same, of Ewan McGregor’s hair in JACK AND THE GIANT SLAYER. (Maybe, I should’ve put this in the “Loving” section. )
I also watched TOP GUN for the first time ever. I know, right? Anyway, am I the only one who thinks Kelly McGillis and Tom Cruise don’t go together, like at all? I thought she was fine in WITNESS with Harrison Ford, but opposite Tom Cruise? Really? She would’ve worked way better opposite Val Kilmer, IMHO.
I love my Nintendo Switch. I also love Animal Crossing: New Horizons (ACNH). When the pandemic first started, I wasn’t in DBT yet and I had a hard time regulating my anxiety. The way I got through 2020 was by playing ACNH for anywhere from six to 12 straight hours each day for almost a year. I’ve clocked 1600+ hours on the game according to Nintendo. Anyway, to help calm my nerves this week, I’ve broken out ACNH for a couple of hours for a couple of days. It’s been nice to ignore everything.
I want to get LASIK. Distance seeing and reading have become a huge problem for me. I have progressive lenses and I still take my glasses off more than I use them when I read or take notes. It’s a problem with school because I need my glasses to see the board. I can’t keep taking off and putting on my glasses while I’m in class or doing homework. Not only is it annoying and impossible to actually do anything productive, it also gives me very painful headaches.
I need our place to sell quickly. Every time we have a showing or open house, it’s very stressful and scary for our cats. I feel bad that they’re so scared.
How was your week? Anything exciting happen?