I posted this once before, but then I deleted it because I’m fickle. Well, no, depression is fickle and my depression controls me. I do things based on my mood. (“Mood” seems like such a little word to describe what depression is or how it makes me feel, but it’s all I can think of right now.) I probably shouldn’t do things based on my mood because my mood changes a lot and so I change my mind a lot. Poor Corey. He’s always trying to figure out what I’m going to do next and it’s impossible to predict.
Anyway, I digress. Here’s what I meant to post … again. (It’s kind of goes perfectly with what I wrote above. 🤦🏼♀️)
Rising from the Ashes
Why do I keep doing this?
I am nothing.
I try and try and try, never following through, never succeeding.
I’m sucked into the depths of despair.
I feel nothing.
I am lost.
I am drifting in a tide of uncertainties.
I want to be happy.
I want to be healthy.
I want more in life.
I am impassioned.
I am defiant.
I fight back.
I try again and again and again, until I succeed.
The Refiner’s fire is agonizing.
But, I wait for the ashes.
The ashes of rebirth.
I will rise.
I will succeed.
I will be reborn into a phoenix.