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Rising from the Ashes

I’ve shared this before and I want to share it again. I wrote this during a really low point in my life. I like to read it every now and then to help me remember to “just keep swimming,” even though it’s hard and I don’t want to sometimes.

I also made a minor adjustment using my DBT skills. I changed the “but” in the last stanza to an uppercase, underlined “and.” I actually like it better.

Why? 
Why do I keep doing this? 
I am nothing. 
A failure. 
I try and try and try, never following through, never succeeding. 

Shame. 
Guilt. 
Weakness. 
Depression.

I’m sucked into the depths of despair. 
I crumple. 
I fall. 
I cry.

I feel nothing. 

I am lost. 
I am drifting in a tide of uncertainties.

I want to be happy. 
I want to be healthy. 
I want more in life.

I am impassioned. 
I am defiant.

I fight back. 
I try again and again and again, until I succeed.

The Refiner’s fire is agonizing. 
AND, I wait for the ashes. 
The ashes of rebirth. 
I will rise. 
I will succeed. 
I will be reborn into a beautiful, fiery phoenix. 

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