Just call me Jenni, the Waffler. What am I waffling about? Remember my post last month about starting school again and having everything worked out and knowing what I wanted to do with my life? Yeah, I’m not so sure anymore.
I’ve been in school for a month and I’m really enjoying it. I love my three classes–MATH 1050, JAPN 1010, and PHYS 1010. My math class is very easy AND I needed the refresher as it’s been a while since I took a math class. I’m so happy to be taking Japanese again. I definitely needed to start from the beginning to increase my vocabulary as it’s been 20+ years since I was in a competent Japanese program. (BYU’s is the. Worst. Ever!) My physics class is really fun AND it’s kicking my trash. My first test was on Tuesday and I got a B-. At least I get to recoup some of the points and change my grade to a B+.
I tried to get into drafting and architecture classes this semester but they were all full. Because they were all full, I haven’t been able try out what it’s actually like to do either. I’m now second guessing whether I want to be an architect. Is there enough math involved because that’s what primarily lures me to the career, design second. I don’t know if it’s the right path for me. I’m thinking of going back down the path of plain old mathematics. The problem is what do I do with a mathematics degree? I know the sky’s the limit with a mathematics degree AND are any of those careers appealing to me? I don’t know! I feel like I’ve been in an existential crisis ever since I graduated high school.
I talked to Doug, my Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) therapist, about my feelings and he said to not do anything impulsively. (I wonder why. ) He told me to use my DBT skills, particularly the Pros and Cons skill to get into Wise Mind to help me make my decision. I don’t like the Pros and Cons skill because I feel like Kronk with my shoulder angel on one side and my shoulder devil on the other side giving me equally awesome or equally awful choices to choose from.
I am taking Doug’s advice, though. I’m not making my decision yet. I’m going to make sure I get into drafting and architecture classes in Spring Semester. Once I actually see what drafting and architecture are like, then I’ll make my decision. If I do change to plain old mathematics, I can decide what to do with it as I get further into the program.