Didaskaleinophobia: The Fear of Going to School

In the post New Year’s Resolutions 2010, I mentioned I’ve been plagued with irrational worries/fears of returning to school.  What are those fears?

I’ve been out of school for almost ten years.  What if I’ve forgotten how to go to school?  What if I don’t know how to be a student anymore?  What if I’ve forgotten important skills I need to succeed, like how to write a research paper or how to interact with other students that are ten plus years younger than I am?

I’m also worried about my hand.  I haven’t really hand written anything in the time I’ve been away from school.  I’ve been glued to a computer and anytime I try to write something longer than a paragraph, my hand cramps up.  Taking notes is going to kill me!  Yes, I know I can take my laptop to school with me, but what if I’m the only one with a computer in my class?  And then, along the same lines but in the opposite direction, do students still use binders, paper, or pencils?  Or, do they only use their laptops?

I know it’s only been ten years.  But, at the same time, it’s been ten years.  A lot can change in ten years.  I’m a lot more mature than I was so hopefully that will help.  But, I’m still very unsure about myself.  That hasn’t changed.  What if I really can’t graduate in English?  I never thought in a million years that I’d be an English major.  I detested English when I was younger (other than writing short stories).  I detested reading!  I still don’t like to read textbooks.  What if I can’t handle reading as much as an English major is going to take?  What if I really don’t enjoy being a copyeditor?  What am I going to do with myself then?  It took me this long just to decide on a major in the first place. What if it’s not the right one?

I really hope all these fears are normal for someone in my situation.  And, I really hope that once Monday comes, I’ll calm down. And, I hope I realize going to school is like riding a bicycle, something you never forget how to do.

About Jenni Elyse

I enjoy reading, listening to music, watching movies and TV, playing any type of game (especially anything related to Zelda and Mario), aimlessly surfing the Internet, crocheting, knitting, playing the piano, and hanging out with my husband, cats, and friends. Check my About Me page for more details.

Comments

  1. Ashley says:

    Don’t worry about it. You will be just fine. There are a lot of students that use laptops, and a lot that use paper and pencil. Either way, you won’t stick out. Don’t think too much about it. I’m sure you will ease right into the routine come next week. Just do the assignments, listen to the instructor, and you will be fine. I’m excited to see how your first days go! Good luck!

  2. ouisa says:

    Jenni, I experienced similar fears when I returned to school. So I totally know where you are coming from. For me, I discovered that being older has been a huge benefit. I was a B student in college the first time,now with my increased discipline, drive and general perspective on the world I’m a 4.0 student. I wouldn’t say I’ve become any smart in the last ten or so year, more I’ve become more focused. I’m sure the same will be true for you.

    When taking notes, I do a combination of paper and the lap top. Binders are still a must for all the hand out.

    You are going to do awesome. I’m so excited for you!

  3. Megan says:

    Don’t be worried. I use paper and pencil for my notes since I find carrying around my heavy laptop a problem. I also use a communal binder for handouts. Just make sure to know what the teacher expects and you’ll have no problem. and don’t get discouraged on the first couple days od classes. the syllabi are always easier than they appear. Oh, and I’ve seen older people than you taking classes. ;)

  4. Deon says:

    You are inspiring me so much! I too want to return to school, but I have major worries like you. But I occasionally read about 60 and 70-year-old folks (usually women) who finally complete their degrees, and I figure that if they can do it, so can I! I just need to decide on my major; I’m down to about three choices. What to choose?

    Good luck on Monday! Let us in on how everything went, k?!

  5. Debbie says:

    After the first week I think a lot of this will go away….and then again you may have some new ones to add to the list. :) Either way you’re going to have so much fun and you’re going to be totally fine. Plus I can’t wait to hear all about it!

  6. Ashley says:

    Your fear of the unknown will go away within the first week. You’re going to do great! You’ve wanted this for a long time, so I know you’ll work hard and succeed. Good luck, I’m thinking of you!

  7. That big long word didask…..is from the Greek! I know cuz I live in Greece and it is 99% true that all words come from Greek (My Big Fat Greek Wedding, as proof! hahahaha) I went back to school after 24 years of no studying (except the scriptures and helping kids with homework…) and I LOVED it! Relax and enjoy it! It is fun and stimulating and challenging and frustrating and exciting and cool, all at the same time!

  8. aimee says:

    I know a bit of what you’re feeling. When I started my new job, I was sure I was going to quit after a few days. I was so nervous about the changes and not being in my natural environment and all that comes with a change. You have Corey and good friends who will support you. Good luck and enjoy it. I’m a bit envious… I actually miss school. Have a good day tomorrow.

  9. Variety says:

    Jen, you’ll do great. I’ve seen some students use computers, but the majority in my classes have taken notes by hand. It doesn’t help when most my classes are in a basement, and most people don’t get internet, so don’t bring their laptops to school. Mine’s a little heavy, so I don’t like carrying it. I also don’t use a binder, but those notebooks with pockets, and I keep a folder in my backpack for handouts.

  10. rachel says:

    okay, i think you already know how excited i am for you to go to school, but let me just say it again: i am so excited for you! good luck. i’ll say a little prayer for you and your first-day-of-school jitters.

    i think i would be the opposite of ouisa if i were to go back to school. i was way too much of an over-achiever. i would care less about a grade and spend more time sucking up knowledge. it’s going to be awesome and we all know byu is the best school in the entire world. (okay, that may be a bit over-dramatic, but still).

    what if, what if, what if! you are so brave. you worry about those things, and then you do it anyway. can’t wait to hear about your experiences.

  11. Aymee says:

    Those are all good points. I wouldn’t know the first thing about going back to school. But I know you’ll do awesome.

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