I’m so out of shape! Seriously, old people, in their 70s or 80s, were passing me on the trail! They were already coming back from the lake before I even made it there. I felt like Bella did in Twilight when she went hiking with Edward to the meadow, except that Corey isn’t a vampire, he’s just a normal human and I’m not a normal human, I’m a snail. It took me around two hours to get there. But … I got there, shriveled just like a snail would’ve been in that sun.

Even though it was a hot day, it wasn’t too hot on the trail because we were almost at 10,000 ft. The sun did zap my energy, so I took a lot of breaks in the shade. Thank goodness for Camelbaks! I wouldn’t have survived this hike without one. Even a large bottle of water wouldn’t have been enough for me to get up to that lake!

I’m glad I kept going, even though I wanted to give up … a lot. The lake was beautiful and the scenery was too. The wildflowers were gorgeous! There were so many colors–pink, red, orange, purple, blue, yellow, and white. I took a lot of macro shots of the different flowers, but I’m saving those for upcoming Nearly Wordless Wednesday posts.

I’ve decided that I need to get into shape. I’m recommitting to my weight loss goals! I’ve decided I’m going to stick to veggies, lean meats, and gluten-free grains. I’m cutting out dairy and gluten because I know one of them causes me issues; it’s just a matter of which one. Corey and I are also going to do a hike each Saturday, and I’ll do other exercising during the week. I’m losing this excessive weight once and for all!

In 2011, I want to:

• Continue to improve my relationship with Corey.
• Finish reading The New Testament.
• Continue to get straight As in school.  This includes As and A minuses.
• Read at least 25 books.  This includes at least two classics (and The New Testament).
• Lose another 30 pounds through healthy eating and exercise.
• Show up for everything I’ve committed to. This includes school, church, work, 12-step meetings, and exercising (whether this is through boot camp or on my own).

My relationship with Corey continues to improve daily.  I know it’s something we’re both fully committed to so it’s just a matter of keeping at it.

I finished reading the New Testament in May. After a year and a half of reading and plugging away at it, I finally finished. I started to read The Book of Mormon once I finished The New Testament, and I plan to read it in its entirety by the end of the year too.

I bombed my goal of getting straight As in school. I actually failed, literally not figuratively, one of my classes during Winter Semester. It was a conscious choice so I don’t feel sorry for myself. However, I do feel a little bit of regret for failing that class. All I can do at this point is not do it again. And, that’s what I plan to do for the rest of my school sojourn.

I’m definitely on my way to finishing my goal of reading 25 books this year. I’ve read 12 books so far. I thought I’d have more time during the summer to read, but I keep getting distracted by other things I don’t have time to do while I’m in school. Conquering Zelda: Ocarina of Time once and for all (I hadn’t played for almost four years and only had one dungeon and defeating Ganondorf left) and finally watching LOST (I’m in the middle of season 4) have been my major distractions. But, even with these distractions, I still feel like I’m on track.

Losing 30 pounds hasn’t gone well at all. I’m a little ashamed to say that I’ve gained all my weight back and then some. I know it’s my choices in eating and activities. And, I also think it has to do with some of my medications and their side effects. But, I’m woman enough to admit that my meds and their side effects are a very little part of my weight gain. I just need to get back on the horse….

As far as my commitments go, I’ve basically given up on those as well. I went to school while it was in session, but I missed a few days. I go to work, but I’m back into my old habit of using up my PTO (paid time off) as soon as I get it so I have no time for vacations and I’m even in the hole. I’ve stopped going to my 12-step meetings because most of the people in the groups bug me and I don’t feel like we’re there for the same reasons. And, church is really hard right now. But, that’s another story for another time.

I guess it’s time to step up to the plate for the last half of the year and do better than I have been. At this point, I’m not really committed to accomplishing all my goals (e.g. weight loss and commitments) by the end of the year. I guess that’s something I need to work on too. And, I need to remember my mantra, “I’m striving for progress not perfection,” so I can get back on the horse sooner rather than later. At least, I have accomplished a few things. ;)

• Continue to improve my relationship with Corey.
• Read The New Testament.
• Go back to school. :D
• Read at least 35 books.
• Lose another 30 pounds.
• Go to church regularly (every week).

Now that 2010 has come to a close, I’ve realized that I didn’t do a very good job at meeting my resolutions, except for two.  My relationship with Corey keeps improving daily.  I know we can continue to improve our relationship, but it’s a lifelong process and one I’m fully committed to.

I also went back to school this year.  I’m so happy to be back in school! :D Even though my life is extremely busy and hectic with school added into the mix, I feel like my life has purpose again and that I’m striving for something better.  If you count the two A minuses from this last semester’s classes, I’ve received straight As this entire year. :D (I know A minuses aren’t technically As.  But, with everything I had going on this last semester, I’m happy I got A minuses.)

I started reading The New Testament at the beginning of the year and I’m just barely in Romans.  I pretty much gave up in March.  I made a new commitment in July, but I didn’t follow through with that either.  I don’t understand it as well as I understand The Book of Mormon.  And, I don’t feel like I get the spiritual “high” from reading The New Testament like I do when I read The Book of Mormon, which makes “wanting” to read it each night a chore or a hassle.  But, I’m determined to get through it!  And, once I get through it, I’ll reread The Book of Mormon before I tackle The Old Testament. ;)

I only read 19 books this year.  I wanted to read 35, but let’s be honest–I had a ton going on this past year.  School alone kept me from reading as much as I wanted to.  The fact that I was still able to read 19 books is a feat in and of itself.

I didn’t lose another 30 pounds.  In fact, I’m pretty much where I was last year–a few pounds lighter actually–but that’s both good and bad.  I know I could’ve done a better job with my weight loss this year, especially before I started boot camp and during the last month.  I know what I need to change for next year so I can keep on track.

I didn’t go to church regularly at all last year.  It was only in the last two months that I went to church regularly.  I can’t use the 9:00-am church time as an excuse because that was sleeping in compared to the rest of the week.  I just get into a frame of mind where I don’t want to go.  At the beginning of November, however, I made a commitment to myself and my counselor that I wouldn’t miss a single anything between then and the end of the year, even if I was deathly ill.  For the most part, I came through with this commitment; although, I did miss going to church twice (last two weeks), I missed two 12-step meetings (bad weather and birthday party), and I missed one day of work (bad weather).  I have recommitted and I’m extending this commitment to the end of next semester (for now as I’ll keep extending this at the end of each semester since semester by semester seems more doable than an entire year all at once).

In 2011, I want to:

• Continue to improve my relationship with Corey.
• Finish reading The New Testament.
• Continue to get straight As in school.  This includes As and A minuses.
• Read at least 25 books.  This includes at least two classics (and The New Testament).
• Lose another 30 pounds through healthy eating and exercise.
• Show up for everything I’ve committed to.  This includes school, church, work, 12-step meetings, and exercising (whether this is through boot camp or on my own).

My mantra for next year is the following: “I’m striving for progress not perfection.”  I know I’ll make mistakes and I know I’ll cave under pressure every now and then.  But, the important thing to remember is what I do with those mistakes and how I respond to them.  As long as I’m determined to better myself, I can’t fail. Here’s to making the next year successful! :D

*****

Today marked the end of the poetry unit in my current English class.  I’m so happy!  Now, I just need to take the test tomorrow and I can leave poetry far behind me.  I must say that I’ve learned a lot in this class.  I’ve actually learned to appreciate meter and the words used in poetry much more than I thought I would.  I can actually see poetry’s relevance now.  I still don’t enjoy it all that much.  Actually, I should qualify that.  I still don’t prefer poetry over fiction.  But, I do appreciate it more.

*****

As I’m figuring out my school schedule for winter semester, I’m realizing how hard it’s going to be to maintain a half-time student status.  Most of the classes I need to take are either held at the same time or several hours apart, which doesn’t work with my work schedule.  This is a big deal because a student can only receive financial aid if they’re a half-time student.  Luckily, I’ve figured out a schedule that will work for winter semester.  I just hope I can continue to find something that works as I progress.

*****

Boot camp is still going well.  I was sick most of last week so I only went on Monday.  When I went for the first time this week, I could feel I hadn’t exercised for a week.  But, because my body is so used to exercising as hard and as often as it does, I recovered quickly.  The workouts are still very tough, but my stamina is getting better and better all the time.  Even though I don’t always enjoy exercising while I’m doing it, I love the feeling (other than the sore muscles) afterward.

Warning: If you’re a guy, you may not want to read this post.  Then again, maybe you do. :roll:

Why am I posting about bras?  Partly because it’s October–Breast Cancer Awareness Month–but mostly because I bought new bras this weekend.

Because I’m in the process of losing weight, I have a hard time buying new clothes.  There’s a part of me that really wants new clothes, but I also don’t want to buy all these clothes that won’t fit in a few months.  It seems wasteful.  Even with that being said, I bought a few bras over the weekend because I have lost about four inches in my band size and I didn’t feel like I was getting the proper support anymore (although, I don’t ever feel like I have enough support).  It’s amazing what having the right bra does for you in terms of posture, backaches, flattering curves, etc!

Bras have always been the bane of my existence because I think they’re uncomfortable (especially the underwire ones, which I have avoided wearing for as long as I could, knowing it was unwise to do so), and it seems that no matter what bra I have, I still look huge.  This weekend, however, I actually found a few that fit properly and hold my girls where they need to be.  I don’t look saggy anymore, which helps accentuate the amount of weight I’ve lost around my waist! :D

Did you know that most women buy bras that are too big around the middle and too small in cup size?  I didn’t realize this until one of my friends pointed it out to me a few months ago.  (She is as large in cup size as I am, but she doesn’t look as large as I do because she wears the right kind of bras.)  Anyway, all my bras were way too big around the middle.  And, before my weight loss, I really did need a larger cup size, which is scary to think about. 8O Luckily, however, I’m in the middle of two cups (closer to the smaller one) right now so because I’m losing weight, I went with the smaller size to allow for longer usage because bras are expensive!  It actually doesn’t look bad (meaning I’m not falling out all over the place) and having the tighter almost-so-tight-you-can’t-breath-tight middle keeps everything held firmly in place and (I dare say) a bit more perkily too. ;)

I’m really enjoying this lifestyle change.  Sure, most of the time I complain while I’m at boot camp.  But, I feel really good after it’s over and I can’t complain about losing weight or getting stronger.  I actually have triceps now and my wedding ring is too big for my finger! :D In all honesty, I only complain for a second before I start doing the exercise.  It helps me come to grips with what my trainers are forcing, I mean telling, me to do.

While I’ve been going to boot camp, I’ve had some interesting “injuries,” if you can call them that.  After about a month, I developed bursitis in my right knee.  Because I overcompensated with my right knee, it also became inflamed.  Now, both of my knees are doing great, but I have shin splints.  They’re the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced in my life, except for the after effects from my sinus surgery a few years ago.  I can barely walk sometimes and it’s quite painful to run.  But, I do everything I’m able to so I can keep exercising.  They should go away eventually; it’s just a matter of dealing with them until that time comes.

For the first month, the food aspect of this whole thing was really hard.  I hated giving up dairy, bread, and pasta.  Oh, and sugar and junk food and…. ;) But now, I only have small cravings for bread when I’m around a particularly aromatic loaf.  Because I know what it would cost me, I haven’t given in.  I’m actually extremely proud of myself for that.

A couple of weeks ago, I ate at Bajio’s for the first time in three months.  I ordered a Diet Coke with my meal.  After I took the first sip, I nearly wanted to throw up.  I couldn’t believe how sweet it tasted.  (I can only imagine how a regular Coke would make me feel.)  Even the food was too sweet for my taste.  In fact, a lot of things are a lot sweeter than I remember them being–bread at Subway, the more sugary veggies, and even some kinds of nuts.  I’m glad that Bajio’s food and the Diet Coke were too sweet because I don’t crave them, or any junk food in the sweet category, anymore.  If I’m in the mood for sweet, I just eat some fruit because a banana, apple, or tangerine satiates my craving completely.

I don’t even have the desire to eat any candy on Halloween or pie on Thanksgiving. 8O It really feels good to be at this point because I was dreading the holidays last year.  I didn’t think I’d be able to resist all the junk food (and I was right).  This year, however, I’m ready to conquer my cravings and come out on top!

*****

Even though I don’t spend a lot of time on homework, I’m still very busy this semester because of everything else I have going on.  Every weekday I leave between 6:20 am and 6:40 am and I don’t get home until after 8:00 pm because of class, work, and boot camp.

*****

Last week, I was sick.  I ate something on Sunday that didn’t agree with me so I was out of commission on Monday and Tuesday.  I also didn’t feel too well during the rest of the week.  Because of this, I didn’t go to a single session of boot camp. :? Yesterday was the first time I had worked out in over a week and I feel like I’m starting over again!  My muscles are screaming in pain, but it’s good because I now know how important working out is for my body.  I can tell I do a lot better when I exercise.

When I weighed myself this morning, it came as no surprise that I didn’t lose any weight this past week.  But, I didn’t gain any weight either! :D I’m nearly where I was last year when I stopped following my new lifestyle.  I won’t ever let go of this lifestyle again because having to make up for what I gained back by having to lose it again is not fun.  I definitely learned my lesson.

*****

I’m halfway through my iron infusions.  I just have two left.  I’m really hoping it’s making a difference with my iron levels because even though I haven’t had any adverse effects from the infusions, I don’t want to get a weekly IV for the rest of my life.

The first appointment on Tuesday was with my general doctor.  I wanted him to take a look at my knee.  He said I have bursitis, which is an inflammation of the bursa underneath my knee.  For the next couple of weeks, I’m not supposed to jump, run, or climb stairs (or as little as possible since I live in a two-story townhome), and I need to be careful when doing lunges or squats.  Luckily, my boot camp instructors are working with me and still giving me a good workout.

My general doctor also decided to test my vitamin D, vitamin B12, and iron levels again since I’ve now been on supplements for a few months.  Yesterday, I got a call from the nurse.  My vitamin D and vitamin B12 levels are in the low normal range so I just need to keep taking my supplements and, hopefully, they’ll continue to increase.  My iron level, on the other hand, is still too low, which means I get to have iron infusions by IV once a week for the next four weeks. 8O

The second appointment on Tuesday was with a sleep doctor.  I don’t sleep well at night.  It takes me forever to fall asleep and then I wake up umpteen million times during the night.  When I wake up, I don’t feel rested at all and I constantly feel like I’m going to fall asleep at work, which I’ve actually done.  He’s having me start a medication to see if it will help me sleep.  It’s not habit forming, which is good.  He’s also testing my oxygen levels to make sure I don’t have sleep apnia, or I should say a worse case than I already had because in 2005, I was borderline.

*****

I’ve been doing boot camp for five weeks now.  This is my sixth week.  So far, I’ve lost 12.8 pounds and three or four inches off my waist.  I’ve also lost inches off of my thighs, hips, and neck, but I’m not sure how much.  They don’t track chest measurements for women.  I want to start tracking that measurement (at home) because I really want to know if I’m losing inches there.  It would be a glorious day if I am.

*****

I feel like Tuesday was a waste of a day off of work.  I took it off so I could read Mockingjay all day. Guess what didn’t happen? I didn’t get to Mockingjay at all. I knew I was pushing it because I was only halfway through my reread of Catching Fire at midnight on Tuesday morning.  But, I figured I could get through the rest of the book mid-morning.  I was wrong.  With all the doctors’ appointments, boot camp, and car troubles on Tuesday, I didn’t finish my reread of Catching Fire until 9:00 pm.  I was so frustrated! But, I’m glad I took the time to reread The Hunger Games and Catching Fire.  I always forget how much I love a story until I’m rereading it.

At this point, Mockingjay is going on hold for a couple of days because I have the chance to read an ARC of Matched by Ally Condie.  My blog friend Natasha lent it to me at the book charity event last Saturday.  We’re going to a book blogger social this Saturday, which makes returning it to her easier since neither of us know where the other lives. ;) I figure I’ll always have Mockingjay now that it’s mine, but if I don’t get Matched read by Saturday, I’ll have to wait until November 30 to read it.  Whatever you do, please don’t spoil Mockingjay for me, and I promise when I review Matched, I won’t spoil it for you! ;)

*****

Yesterday, Corey started school for the first time in over ten years.  He was really nervous, but I think he enjoyed his classes.  Of course, he’ll know for sure how he feels once he’s gone a few times.

I start school on Monday.  I’m excited, but I feel like it’s almost on me and I need more time to get ready!

Updated: I did lose an inch off my waist and a half an inch off my neck.  I do feel a little better now.

*****

I’m getting all my paperwork done for my financial aid for this school year.  I’m a little behind because Corey and I had to file our taxes late due to everything that happened last year.  I always forget how much paperwork it takes to get financial aid to go through.  It’s so daunting!  Luckily, my FAFSA application says I should not only qualify for subsidized loans this year, but I should also qualify for a full pell grant!

*****

I’m getting really nervous about my Spanish class this semester.  Sure, I’ve known Spanish since I was six years old, but I don’t speak or listen to it everyday.  I also haven’t really practiced in many years.  I try to speak it whenever I’m hanging out with my nephew-in-law Dave, but I just feel so rusty.  The last class I took was almost ten years ago.  What if I’ve forgotten everything I need to pass this class?  Fortunately, I remember most of the grammar rules, but my vocabulary is not nearly as rich as it used to be.  I know it’ll come back to me, but I’m still nervous.

*****

School starts in less than four weeks.  I’m getting excited and nervous.  I hope I can figure out a way to work working out into my hectic schedule.  I know I won’t be able to keep up with the five-times-a-week boot camp, but I’m going to try to go at least two or three times a week.  I don’t want to stop now that I’m in the habit of being more active.  Even though I feel like dying each day, I actually feel good.  Go figure. ;)

This semester, I’m taking three classes.  I’m taking Spanish to finally get my language credit out of the way.  (I love learning foreign languages, but I’ve been taking so many languages here and there that I’ve never completed the credit in one language.)  I’m also taking an intro to literature class since I never paid attention to literature in school.  I thought it might help me become better versed in the literature I need to know to do well in my major. ;) Finally, I’m taking another religion class.  I don’t need to take anymore, but I wanted to take a class in between my Spanish and literature class so I signed up for one since there’s always space available.

*****

Thanks for all the feedback regarding whether I should split my book reviews on to a separate blog.  For now, I’ve decided to keep my blog in one piece.  I think with school starting in a month, I should keep things as simple as possible.  I might revisit the idea again in the future.