It’s time to sort out my priorities again.  I feel like I’m just going through the motions of doing important things rather than really wanting to do them.  Does that make sense?  I guess I feel like I’m doing things half-assed again.  (I looked up synonyms for “half-assed,” but none of them describe how I feel as perfectly as “half-assed” does.  I guess haphazardly could work, but it doesn’t feel as strong.  Do you have any word suggestions I can use instead?)

I’m not going to bed on time anymore.  Because I’m not going to bed on time, I’m getting up late, which makes me late to work.  And, even though I’m getting to work late, I’m still leaving work early enough to get to my classes on time because my classes are at a set schedule, my grades are partially determined by attendance, and I absolutely love going to class.  Or, in other words, I’m not always working a full 40-hour work week like I’m supposed to as a salaried employee.

I’m also having a hard time being productive at work because I feel like my job is the most boring job in the entire world.  I always get my work done, but I don’t get it done as quickly as I could.  I would quit my job and find something else I enjoy doing more, but I can’t quit because no one else is hiring right now and no one else will pay me as much as I get paid at my current job; I’ve been pigeon-holed until I graduate from school.

I’m not eating as healthy as I was last year and the only exercise I get is walking around campus.  I’ve had a hard time remembering to read my scriptures at night.  I haven’t been to the temple since December because I’ve been so busy with school and work.  And, finally, I just have no motivation at all to do anything.

I’ve been feeling really depressed lately because of my lack of motivation.  I feel like I’m in a slump, a slump with really steep, slippery, high walls, making it almost impossible to climb out.  The only things that have kept me going lately are school, Project 365, and reading for fun for the past few days because I haven’t had any homework.  (My last class for this semester was yesterday, but I don’t start taking finals until Friday.)

I’m excited to start a new term in a couple of weeks.  I think a change of pace will help me get out of this slump.  For one thing, I’ll be less busy because I’m only taking one class rather than three.  And, for another thing, it will be something different.

Even with a change in pace in a couple of weeks, I just need to focus and make stronger commitments to do better.  I also need to check in with myself daily so if I start to get in a slump again, I can get out of it immediately rather than wallow in it for months at a time.  Here’s to putting on some climbing gear and getting out of this slump by refocusing on my goals and putting those things first that need to be. Wish me luck!

PS–Any idea where my title comes from?

Anyone who knows me knows I’m not a cold person.  I get hot so easily.  I have always advocated that it’s better to be too cold than too hot because you can always put more on to warm up and you can only take off so much to cool down.

At work, I’m underneath an air vent.  Not only does this air vent gush out cold air all year around, it also gushes out the air full blast. It’s ridiculous!  I’ve never been so cold in all my life!

On a typical day, you can find me wrapped in my slanket (thank you, Luisa) trying to keep warm.  On some days, I’m so cold that my slanket isn’t enough.  On those days, I’m not only wrapped in my slanket, I’m also wearing a sweater, a coat, or both.

I feel like I work in the Arctic.  My overall body temperature is changing because I’m starting to feel cold in other places too.  I didn’t like being a hot person, but I don’t like being a cold person either.  Isn’t there a middle ground?

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Two posts in three days!  It’s almost like my life is back to normal.  I assure you, it’s far from it.

Financial aid is the worst!  Trying to jump through government hoops to get help couldn’t be more complicated.  I’ve been dealing with this forever-long process since last September and I still don’t have financial aid!

When I realized I was going back to school this year, I started the financial aid process.  I handed in my FAFSA application, tax forms, etc.  During this process, Corey and I noticed a large discrepancy on his 2008 tax form.  Corey does our taxes by hand, or I should say by tax software. He was advised to file our taxes separately for 2008, which was the first time since we were married.  He figured it would be a similar process and decided to still do it himself.  (I would’ve done the same thing if I were in his shoes.)  Somehow, my income was not only entered as my income on my taxes, but it was entered as Corey’s income on his taxes too.  Needless to say, that error makes it seem as though Corey and I made double what we actually did.  As you can imagine, that’s not good when you’re trying to apply for financial aid.

When Froyo closed, Corey and I didn’t think I’d make it back to school so I decided to stop pursuing financial aid.  Then, in December, everything worked out for me to go back and I started to process my financial aid again.  At that time, I let the financial aid office know that Corey’s taxes were wrong.  They told me to submit a copy of my W-2 and a letter explaining the situation and everything should be hunky dory.

On December 28, I heard back from the Financial Aid office stating that they couldn’t do anything about Corey’s taxes because legally that’s how they were filed.  That made sense, but I wish the adviser had told me that in the beginning so I didn’t waste two weeks finding it out from someone else. I sent them a message asking what my next course of action was and I asked them if I would still qualify for loans, even unsubsidized ones.  I just heard back from them this week and I still don’t know anything! The person who answered my message didn’t even read it.  They just told me to come in and talk with an adviser to get an overview in the process.  I’ve already talked to an adviser (I mentioned this in my message) and I know the process.  Look where doing those things the first time got me! Absolutely nowhere! Ugh!

At this point, I need to talk to an adviser again and try to get this resolved before March 1 so my financial aid can pay my short-term loan back.  If this doesn’t get resolved, then I may not be continuing past this semester.

I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs, “Can something just please work out with out a lot of falderal?”  I know these experiences are supposed to help us grow and become stronger, better people, but they’re still frustrating, overwhelming, and very discouraging.

I’ve recently … 30 minutes ago recent … learned something.  I have a little bit of know how with Photoshop, but it’s too little do anything really exciting and, with the case of the Christmas card I posted, it’s too much for my own good.

When I need an image, I usually do one of four things.  One, I see if I have an image or photo I can use.  Two, I try to make an image.  Three, I search for an image using Google Image search.  Four, I ask Corey to make something for me.  In a lot of cases, I find something with the image search and I modify it to fit my needs.

Until Tracy Apps, the designer of the Christmas card I used, notified me of my infringement by posting a comment and tweeting about it, I didn’t realize I was doing anything wrong using those images from the search.  I always thought that if you weren’t using the images for commercial use, it was okay to use them.  Obviously, I was wrong.

I was in a meeting at work.  When I came back to my desk to check my e-mail, I noticed her comment in my inbox.  I immediately gave her credit for her work and sent her an e-mail apologizing for my gross oversight.  Then, I noticed (on the back end of my blog) that there was a trackback from Twitter about the post.  When I logged onto Twitter, I noticed that several people had announced I had stolen Tracy’s work.  Because I never intended to steal her artwork, I posted an apology on Twitter as well.

I know I should be more informed about copyright laws with artwork since Corey’s a graphic designer, but I’m not.  Like I said, my understanding was that if the image wasn’t being used for commercial use, I could use it.

Anyway, I feel about three inches tall right now and I really don’t feel like blogging anymore.

I feel like I’m one of the telethon hosts for PBS.  Why?  I feel like I need to have an on-the-air fundraiser to raise more comments on my blog.  I’ve just noticed that I don’t get as many comments as I used to or people who used to comment on my blog all the time no longer comment at all or very rarely.

I try to realize that my blog is for me and me alone.  I also know I shouldn’t care about whether people comment, but I’m filled with a longing to be interesting, liked, loved, and approved of.  I know that’s my issue and not yours.  I just want you to know where I’m coming from.

I like to receive comments because it helps me see that people are enjoying my blog … or at least reading it.  I guess I get a little jealous when I notice my friends and family commenting on other people’s blogs and not mine.  I wonder what they have that I don’t.  Is that crazy to think?  It’s just that I know I don’t have kids to blog about, which I think makes the difference and I feel like I’m being punished for something I can’t help.  I’ve tried to be more personal, but right now, I feel like my life is really boring or depressing and don’t want to be negative.  I also can’t really do giveaways because I don’t have the money to.

Sometimes, I feel like I should stop commenting on other people’s blogs because they don’t comment on mine anymore.  But, I realize that’s very petty of me so I keep commenting because I want to make those people feel special even if they don’t want to make me feel special.  It just hurts, I guess.

Do you not comment because you feel like you don’t have anything interesting to say?  If so, please comment anyway.  I appreciate all comments, even if it’s something like, “That’s so true,” or, “That’s neat,” because at least I know you care enough to make an effort.

I’m sorry if you think I’m being whiny.  It’s not my intention at all.  I just want to know how to get more comments.

Anyway, why don’t you comment?  Please be honest.

This is going to be my last vent for a while because I want my blog to be more positive after this.  Yesterday, my stress level hit an amazing high level and it’ll continue until after work on Friday (at least).  Why is my stress level so high?

1. Work: I have a project due on Friday that I’ve been working on for the past few weeks.  It was supposed to be done last Friday, but other things came up that I had to work on instead so I got a reprieve for a week.  This project is taking so long to do.  It feels like I’ve been working non-stop, even though I haven’t.  I just can’t seem to focus because I’m so burned out.  At this point, I just want to quit so it’s one less thing to deal with right now.  But, I’m going to stick it out for more reasons than the obvious ones.
2. Car: Our one and only car has been making strange sounds for the past couple of days.  Unfortunately, we haven’t had time to take it into the shop because of work and Froyo.  And, when we do take it in, we don’t have the time to sit around and wait for it to be fixed.  We tried to get a rental car yesterday for a couple of days.  Yeah, that was a no go.  There isn’t a single car within a 60-mile radius of where we live for rent. There’s some stupid conference going on at BYU right now and I guess all three cars at each of the rental places in Utah are being used. Corey’s taking the car in today and we’re hoping it won’t take too long to fix.
3. Froyo: Read the post American Fork Building Inspector = FAIL for details.

I’ve canceled both my personal training sessions this week because I’ve had to stay at work longer than usual and because of everything else going on this week.  I’m really feeling the lack of going.  Even though I feel tired when I’m done, it’s a good tired and I feel so much happier and calm when I go.  I tried to work it out so I could go today, but it just ain’t gonna happen.  I’m going to do three sessions next week to make up for the lack this week.  Maybe, I’ll be super happy and calm next week.  That would be a good thing after this week’s hectic events.

You may not have noticed the update I added to the A New Age of Froyo post.  Anyway, the new location hasn’t opened yet.  We hoped it would open today, but it didn’t.  We hoped it would open tomorrow, but it won’t.  We hoped it would open on Thursday, but that’s a no-can-do either.  At this point, we’re planning on Friday.

You may ask, “Why all the delays?”  It’s been one thing after another.

The movers were supposed to show up on Thursday to move our stuff from the old store to the new store.  They didn’t show up.  They came on Friday instead.

The company that’s doing the stainless steel caps around the area the machines fit into and the stainless steel for the chair rail had a mishap of their own.  Their machine broke last week.  We were supposed to get the stainless steel last Thursday, but they weren’t able to get us anything until today. The caps for the area around the machines are being installed and are almost done.  The rest of the stainless steel will be coming and installed tomorrow.  (The health inspection can’t happen until the caps are installed, even though it’s considered finish work, because the caps are near the machines.)

The word “signs” has become a swear word in our house.  Like I said in the previous post, we aren’t going to have our outside signs until later this month or possibly September.  We can deal with that.  But, what we can’t deal with is having no signs inside.  The sign people didn’t show up to verify the dimensions so we’re in the process of looking for another sign company because we’re fed up with the the current one.  We have a couple of companies in mind; they wanted the job in the first place so they should be able to get us the inside signs in time to open on Friday.

We were about $8000 short on building costs because of all the delays.  Luckily, this one has been resolved and ended up being the least stressful thing to deal with.

Our building inspector has been a pain in the butt from the beginning of the process.  He acts like he’s God’s gift to building inspectors and has all these stupid rules that make no difference to whether the building’s sound.  Our contractor has told us that he’s never had to deal with these “rules,” even when building in American Fork.

Anyway, the inspector did our final inspection yesterday and we failed it! That’s not even the most frustrating part.  We didn’t fail it because we weren’t up to code; we failed it because of stupid reasons that had nothing to do with the inspector’s actual job!

1. He said our tables and chairs needed to be set up before he could pass us.  That’s like telling someone they can’t get the okay on their house because their couches aren’t in the living room yet.
2. He said we needed an American Fork business license, which is true.  However, we can’t get one until our building inspection gives us the go ahead to practice business in our space.
3. He said we needed to have our health inspection before he could pass us.  The health department won’t even come by until our building inspection has passed.
4. And, last but not least, he said our counter is an inch and a half too high for American Fork’s standards.  American Fork requires your counter to be no higher than 34 inches so that people in a wheelchair can write a check with ease.  That seems like a sound reason to not pass the inspection, right?  Here’s the catch.  The building inspector approved the blueprints that had the dimensions on them.  He never told us that the counter was only supposed to be 34 inches high; he only said that we had to meet ADA (American Disability Association) standards.  Guess what the ADA’s standard for the top counter height is?  36 inches.  We assumed, which was presumptuous of us, that if we built our counter 35.5 inches high, the height would be fine.  After all, our blueprints were approved, right?  Yeah, I know our reasoning was flawed.

Needless to say, Corey called the boss today to complain.  Now, the only thing we have to comply with out of the above reasons is the counter height.  We’ll be dealing with that tomorrow.