Apr 5, 2012

Birthday Woes

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My birthday is in exactly two weeks. I’ll be 34. Normally, I love my birthday. I try every year, without success, to convince my husband to make April a birthday month rather than just a one-day thing. That’s how much I love my birthday!

This year, however, something has changed. Corey asked me what I wanted for my birthday at the end of March. I told him I didn’t know and I’d get back to him. Here it is April 5 and I still have no answer. This is usually unheard of. I usually have very specific wants for my birthday (and Christmas).

I think part of the problem lies with my weight-loss rewards. It took every effort I could muster just to come up with six affordable rewards to help motivate me with my weight loss that I feel like I can’t possibly come up with anything else.

Do I want books? Yes, but my second reward is spending money on books. Do I want books for my birthday and my second reward? I don’t know. Do I want any music? Yes, I love music and I’d love an iTunes gift card, but is that what I really want for my birthday? I don’t know. Or, do I want to be a grown up and just enjoy spending the weekend (since I have to work on my birthday) with Corey and having him do nice things for me? That would be nice, but my childish side says I need a present too.

I guess what it comes down to is that my birthday is extra special to me and I want an extra special present. By extra special, I don’t mean expensive. I mean something that I usually don’t get or buy myself throughout the year. A new hairdo won’t cut it because I get my hair done every six weeks. A book won’t cut it because I get books fairly often, unless it’s something special like my Christmas present–British editions of Harry Potter. Music won’t cut it either because I can download a song here or there from iTunes all the time.

Am I being selfish or childish by not letting these “ordinary” things satisfy me? Or, is this my depression talking and nothing will make me happy right now? Or, is it a little of both or something else entirely? I just don’t know. All I know is that I really don’t know what I want for my birthday and it’s kind of unsettling because it’s so different from the usual me.

Filed Under: Life · 14 Comments
Sep 11, 2009

Finding Hope

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Corey and I are having a difficult time right now.  Not maritally, just in other aspects of our lives.  As we’ve been going through this rough spot, we’ve been trying to put our trust in the Lord and to have faith and hope that things will work out.  We’re also trying to have patience because we know things will work out; it’s just a matter of time.

As I’ve been trying to deal with the stress and uncertainty that I’ve been feeling, I’ve been doing a lot of praying and reading.  Not only am I grateful for the little joys found during difficult times, I’m also grateful for the guidance I receive through the words of the prophets.  I know I wouldn’t be able to get through this time without them.

In the October 2008 General Conference, President Uchtdorf said:

Hope … is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father, who has prepared a way for those who seek for eternal truth in a world of relativism, confusion, and of fear.

In the September 2002 First Presidency Message, President Monson said:

Life is full of difficulties, some minor and others of a more serious nature. There seems to be an unending supply of challenges for one and all. Our problem is that we often expect instantaneous solutions to such challenges, forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required.

The counsel heard in our youth is still applicable today and should be heeded. “Hold your horses,” “Keep your shirt on,” “Slow down,” “Don’t be in such a hurry,” “Follow the rules,” “Be careful” are more than trite expressions. They describe sincere counsel and speak the wisdom of experience.

The mindless and reckless speeding of a youth-filled car down a winding and hazardous canyon road can bring a sudden loss of control, the careening of the car with its precious cargo over the precipice, and the downward plunge that ofttimes brings permanent incapacity, perhaps premature death, and grieving hearts of loved ones. The glee-filled moment can turn in an instant to a lifetime of regret.

Oh, precious youth, please give life a chance. Apply the virtue of patience.

I don’t remember exactly when President Hinckley said this, but it’s one of my favorite quotes.  You may recognize it from the C’est La Vie post.

It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It all works out in the end. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers.

These passages have been such a help to me.  When I feel like I’m being dragged down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, I try to remember these passages.  I try to exercise faith and trust in the Lord.  I know things will be okay.  It’s just a matter of pushing that fear out of the way to let faith and hope stand there instead.

Also, because it’s the anniversary of the planes hitting the twin towers in New York City, I’d like to share this video.  It has also helped me during this time of struggle and difficulty.  It’s a message of peace and finding hope.

Filed Under: LDS, Life · 5 Comments
Sep 4, 2009

“An Excess of Phlegm”

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The past week has been kind of slow because Corey and I have been sick.  Last Wednesday (August 26), Corey started to feel achy and had a nasty, phlegmy cough.  That Friday, he went to the doctor just to make sure it wasn’t a bacterial infection that needed antibiotics to go away.  The doctor said it sounded like bronchitis, but it could be pneumonia or the flu.  She had Corey get a chest X-ray to look for pneumonia. Thankfully, it wasn’t pneumonia and because the doctor was fairly certain it was bronchitis, I thought I was in the clear because bronchitis isn’t contagious.

Whenever I start to get sick, I usually have a mild sore throat.  The sore throat graced me with its presence Saturday afternoon and just got worse as the day progressed.  By Sunday morning, I was feeling like death, but I still made it to my interview with the Stake President, choir practice, and Sacrament meeting.  I tried to stay for the whole three hours, but I could barely get through Sacrament.  I finally gave in and went home.  The same cough Corey had showed up Monday morning and hasn’t left since.

We’re both doing better now.  The achy and overall icky feelings are gone.  But, the cough still lingers and causes a lot of discomfort and annoyance.  I didn’t sleep very well last night and even though I went to work yesterday, after missing Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I decided to stay home again today because the achy and icky feelings are back.  Thanks goodness it’s Labor Day weekend so I have an extra day to get over this thing.

PS–Bonus points if you can guess the reference of my title.

Filed Under: Life · 6 Comments
Aug 7, 2009

“Good News, Everyone!”

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I thought I’d post a little good news to combat all the bad news that’s been going on. Also, bonus points if you know where the quote in the title comes from.

I’m a little less stressed today.  I worked long hours, or it felt like long hours, yesterday and got most of my project done.  I should be able to get the rest of the stuff done today without any problems.

Our car isn’t going to die, thank goodness.  However, our air conditioner, that was just fixed a month ago, is gone for good.  Summer’s almost over and we still have a car that runs.

And, finally, Froyo passed its inspections! Not without incident, but it still passed.  We thought the building inspector was bad.  He was a lamb compared to the health inspector! His boss was really nice to work with and we’re glad he was available yesterday.  Otherwise, Froyo would’ve failed our health inspection too and, again, not for anything substantial. It’s over and done with and we’re glad about that!

I bet everyone wants to know when the big day is.  We’re not positive. We don’t have an official date for the grand opening so I’ll post something when we know for sure.  However, the store will more than likely open tomorrow.  (I’ll post an update later to let you know the final word.)  If it doesn’t open tomorrow, we’ll open on Monday.  Corey just wants to make sure a few last-minute things get done before he decides to open the doors for business.

Anyway, thanks for all your support and patience!  We really appreciate it!

Update: We’re going to open on Monday just so we don’t feel rushed.  We open at 11:00 am!

Filed Under: Business, Life, Work · 4 Comments
Aug 6, 2009

Stressed to the Max

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This is going to be my last vent for a while because I want my blog to be more positive after this.  Yesterday, my stress level hit an amazing high level and it’ll continue until after work on Friday (at least).  Why is my stress level so high?

  1. Work: I have a project due on Friday that I’ve been working on for the past few weeks.  It was supposed to be done last Friday, but other things came up that I had to work on instead so I got a reprieve for a week.  This project is taking so long to do.  It feels like I’ve been working non-stop, even though I haven’t.  I just can’t seem to focus because I’m so burned out.  At this point, I just want to quit so it’s one less thing to deal with right now.  But, I’m going to stick it out for more reasons than the obvious ones.
  2. Car: Our one and only car has been making strange sounds for the past couple of days.  Unfortunately, we haven’t had time to take it into the shop because of work and Froyo.  And, when we do take it in, we don’t have the time to sit around and wait for it to be fixed.  We tried to get a rental car yesterday for a couple of days.  Yeah, that was a no go.  There isn’t a single car within a 60-mile radius of where we live for rent. There’s some stupid conference going on at BYU right now and I guess all three cars at each of the rental places in Utah are being used. Corey’s taking the car in today and we’re hoping it won’t take too long to fix.
  3. Froyo: Read the post Woes with the American Fork Building Inspector for details.

I’ve canceled both my personal training sessions this week because I’ve had to stay at work longer than usual and because of everything else going on this week.  I’m really feeling the lack of going.  Even though I feel tired when I’m done, it’s a good tired and I feel so much happier and calm when I go.  I tried to work it out so I could go today, but it just ain’t gonna happen.  I’m going to do three sessions next week to make up for the lack this week.  Maybe, I’ll be super happy and calm next week.  That would be a good thing after this week’s hectic events.

Filed Under: Business, Life, Vents, Work · 4 Comments
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