Corey is quite literally a jack of all trades. He can learn how to do something and be good at it without even trying. It’s nice to have such a handy husband. And, at the same time, it’s discouraging because I don’t feel like I’m really that good at anything and I feel like I’m sub-par compared to him.
I know I have talents. I can crochet, knit, play the piano, learn foreign languages fairly easily, etc., but I don’t feel like I’m really superb at any of these things. Yes, I do realize this could just be my self-esteem talking. But, when I really stop to think about it, I don’t think I’m that good at any one of these things. I can read crochet patterns like nothing else, but I can’t make up my own patterns. I can play the piano, but I’m not a very good accompanist or I could never be a concert pianist. I pick up on foreign languages really easily, but I’m not fluent in any of the languages I’ve been exposed to.
You may be wondering what brought on this train of thought. I’m trying to find my passion. I think it would help me while I’m going to school. I’m still unsure of whether getting a Bachelor’s in English is the right step for me. I plan to stick it out and give a few more English classes a try because I don’t want to base my decision off of one class. However, I don’t have a lot of leeway anymore to try different things. I’m technically a senior with 95 credits for crying out loud. But, those 95 credits aren’t really in any one particular subject. My Associate’s degree doesn’t even have an emphasis.
There are a lot of things I enjoy doing, but I’m not sure if I want to do them for a living. I love figuring out why people work the way they do so psychology could be a good way to go. But, I know I wouldn’t do well listening to other people’s problems all the time. I’d get depressed and take their problems on as my own. I love to read and that’s why, at this point, I’ve chosen to become an editor. I’m only second guessing myself because I don’t have a passion to read like a few people I know. They devour anything with words on it: cereal boxes, newspapers, Internet articles, books, etc. Whereas, I only devour things that interest me. I don’t do well being forced to read something I don’t want to because I just won’t do it. Is an editor really the right way to go then?
I don’t feel like I was given enough direction when I was growing up, either by my parents or by my teachers. I don’t feel like I was prepared for the real world. The only thing my parents instilled in me was a passion to learn. That’s why I’d rather go to school just to go to school. I never really gained a good work ethic. It’s only my perfectionism that keeps me going at work. But, honestly, that only gets me so far. My teachers didn’t really push me in any one direction either. I was good at math (I had a theorem named after me in high school) and I was good at foreign languages. So what? None of the professions in those fields sound interesting to me.
This post is turning out to be quite the novel so I better wrap up. I hope I can find my passion, find something I’m good at, find something I want to do or be, etc. Hopefully, I’ve made the right decision with graduating in English. I guess only time will tell.
About Jenni Elyse
I think that doubting yourself in your chosen major is just going to happen. I do it all the time. More recently I know that it’s what the Lord has chosen for me what to do. It’s taken a lot of praying but I now know. Maybe you need to do this too? I don’t know if you have. I also like a lot of other things, like Japanese, crochet, sewing, etc., but I just don’t see myself using that as a career. I hope you can figure it out soon. Love ya! <3
Choosing a major took me 3 years, I was in college for 5 instead of 4 partly because I went to Spain. I went in with a determination to teach Elementary someday, but it didn’t work out and I decided it wasn’t for me. Then it was Social Work, that only lasted a quarter, back to Elementary Education, then finally I settled on Early Childhood Education and I LOVED it.
When it came to getting a Masters again I couldn’t decide. I didn’t want to do Administration because I don’t want to run my own preschool, it’s just too much work. I decided I wanted to work individually with kids so I went into Social Work, stopped that in a quarter and settled on Marriage and Family Therapy. I enjoy it, but not as much as I did with teaching preschool and sometimes I think I will return to teaching when my kids are older.
So yeah, it can be a slow process and don’t be afraid to try things out, shadow people etc. I shadowed someone when I realized I wanted to teach preschool. And, don’t feel bad if you end up 5 years instead of 4 or less.
As for talents, I feel the same way. I can’t read crochet or knitting directions worth anything, I learn instruments and languages easily but don’t really apply myself at one, and so on. But you know, I consider writing a talent, even if it’s not a book or poem or doesn’t get published, if people read it it must be good!
No one can really decide your life’s pursuit for you, you have got to do it yourself. I found what I liked to do by trying as many things as I possibly could. I did drama, choir, band, color guard, cheerleading, english, foreign languages, film, newspaper, ect… I pretty much tried as many different things as I could until I found one that I was really passionate about.
You will find something that you love eventually.
I went through the same thing, Jennie. My BA took my 7 years to complete (I graduated with something like 140 credits – and lets not get started on student loans). But, once I hit the right thing, I flew through to the end and loved it. Don’t give up and don’t get discouraged! Just try to take a few “fun” classes mixed in with your others to try new things.
We were just talking last night about how that “what am I going to do with my life” is a REALLY hard decision time. I found what I wanted to do by volunteering becuase I needed service hours for a class. I volunteered with Adaptive Aquatics (swimming with children with special needs) and the Special Education institute. Those combined with then volunteering in a sp. ed. classroom sealed the deal for me. So maybe spending some time volunteering or observing in some different areas might help.
And that list of talents, that’s awesome. There will always be people who do things better and who don’t do things as well as us. You have very diverse talents and that’s cool.
You are just too hard on yourself and you don’t need to be. Be confident in what you do and choose and it will work out for you! We love you and support any decision you make!
I feel the same way with my talents. I was talking to my friend Brie about this the other day. We both decided that we’re dabblers. We dont really excel in anything but we enjoy doing a bunch of stuff enough that we know how but we’re not fabulous. It’s ok. And it’s fun. And it’s fine.
I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve had this very same conversation with myself. That’s why I decided to go all out with my book review blog. I’m a mom now and can’t go back to school for a few years, but that didn’t mean I felt like I could sit back and relax. There’s something inside of each of us that makes us want to be more than what we are, I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing as long as we learn to focus our energies on the right things. Finding those things can be a huge challenge in and of it self.
I know you will make the right decision. Just keep up the hard work and make sure to pick something you’re really passionate about. Because life is a long time to do something you just feel so-so about.
Jennifer – you have many wonderful talents and when it’s time you’ll see what you are suppose to do. Don’t worry about how many credits, etc. I’m in the same boat as you and I have 10 years on you. I’m still a Freshman and I have a bajillion (is that a word) credits because nothing works together. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I am exactly like you – I could be a career student and be happy.
I don’t know when I’m going to be able to go back to school. The main thing is that you are in school and you are furthering your education. Everything will happen when it’s suppose to. Love you!