In the post New Year’s Resolutions 2010, I mentioned I’ve been plagued with irrational worries/fears of returning to school.  What are those fears?

I’ve been out of school for almost ten years.  What if I’ve forgotten how to go to school?  What if I don’t know how to be a student anymore?  What if I’ve forgotten important skills I need to succeed, like how to write a research paper or how to interact with other students that are ten plus years younger than I am?

I’m also worried about my hand.  I haven’t really hand written anything in the time I’ve been away from school.  I’ve been glued to a computer and anytime I try to write something longer than a paragraph, my hand cramps up.  Taking notes is going to kill me!  Yes, I know I can take my laptop to school with me, but what if I’m the only one with a computer in my class?  And then, along the same lines but in the opposite direction, do students still use binders, paper, or pencils?  Or, do they only use their laptops?

I know it’s only been ten years.  But, at the same time, it’s been ten years.  A lot can change in ten years.  I’m a lot more mature than I was so hopefully that will help.  But, I’m still very unsure about myself.  That hasn’t changed.  What if I really can’t graduate in English?  I never thought in a million years that I’d be an English major.  I detested English when I was younger (other than writing short stories).  I detested reading!  I still don’t like to read textbooks.  What if I can’t handle reading as much as an English major is going to take?  What if I really don’t enjoy being a copyeditor?  What am I going to do with myself then?  It took me this long just to decide on a major in the first place. What if it’s not the right one?

I really hope all these fears are normal for someone in my situation.  And, I really hope that once Monday comes, I’ll calm down. And, I hope I realize going to school is like riding a bicycle, something you never forget how to do. :?