Finding Hope

Corey and I are having a difficult time right now.  Not maritally, just in other aspects of our lives.  As we’ve been going through this rough spot, we’ve been trying to put our trust in the Lord and to have faith and hope that things will work out.  We’re also trying to have patience because we know things will work out; it’s just a matter of time.

As I’ve been trying to deal with the stress and uncertainty that I’ve been feeling, I’ve been doing a lot of praying and reading.  Not only am I grateful for the little joys found during difficult times, I’m also grateful for the guidance I receive through the words of the prophets.  I know I wouldn’t be able to get through this time without them.

In the October 2008 General Conference, President Uchtdorf said:

Hope … is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father, who has prepared a way for those who seek for eternal truth in a world of relativism, confusion, and of fear.

In the September 2002 First Presidency Message, President Monson said:

Life is full of difficulties, some minor and others of a more serious nature. There seems to be an unending supply of challenges for one and all. Our problem is that we often expect instantaneous solutions to such challenges, forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required.

The counsel heard in our youth is still applicable today and should be heeded. “Hold your horses,” “Keep your shirt on,” “Slow down,” “Don’t be in such a hurry,” “Follow the rules,” “Be careful” are more than trite expressions. They describe sincere counsel and speak the wisdom of experience.

The mindless and reckless speeding of a youth-filled car down a winding and hazardous canyon road can bring a sudden loss of control, the careening of the car with its precious cargo over the precipice, and the downward plunge that ofttimes brings permanent incapacity, perhaps premature death, and grieving hearts of loved ones. The glee-filled moment can turn in an instant to a lifetime of regret.

Oh, precious youth, please give life a chance. Apply the virtue of patience.

I don’t remember exactly when President Hinckley said this, but it’s one of my favorite quotes.  You may recognize it from the C’est La Vie post.

It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It all works out in the end. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers.

These passages have been such a help to me.  When I feel like I’m being dragged down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, I try to remember these passages.  I try to exercise faith and trust in the Lord.  I know things will be okay.  It’s just a matter of pushing that fear out of the way to let faith and hope stand there instead.

Also, because it’s the anniversary of the planes hitting the twin towers in New York City, I’d like to share this video.  It has also helped me during this time of struggle and difficulty.  It’s a message of peace and finding hope.

I’m Going Back to School

As some of you know and as I mentioned in the My Take on Obama’s Health Plan post, I quit going to school about 10 years ago because Corey started to have health problems and couldn’t work anymore.  For the past few years, I’ve really wanted to go back to school.  I’ve felt like my life has been wasting away at my current job and I’ve just felt so drained because I’m not doing something I enjoy or feel is very important.

Corey and I decided it was high time I went back to school.  I put in a reapplication to BYU about two weeks ago and sent in my Ecclesiastical Endorsement last week.  I got an e-mail from BYU at the end of last week stating they had received everything they needed and to expect a decision no later than November 1.  I was a little surprised when I received an e-mail about an hour ago telling me I had been readmitted!

Some of you know that if I could, I’d just go to school for the rest of my life.  At this point, I’m planning on majoring in English, with an emphasis in creative writing, and minoring in editing.  I’d like to use my degree to become a freelance copy editor for new authors.  It’s still hard for me to believe that I’ve actually decided what I want to be when I grow up.

I plan on quitting my job before school starts in January so I can go to school full-time.  However, Corey and I want to make sure that we’ll be okay without me working.  With that in mind, I may keep working through Winter semester and just take one or two classes to get back into the swing of things.  And then, some time I’ll make the transition to going to school full-time.

Even though I’m really excited to go back, I’m also really scared.  I haven’t been in a classroom for a decade.  I’m worried that I’ve forgotten everything I need to know.  And, even though I have quite a few … um, 95 … credits, I still want to take a few electives to get back into math and Japanese.  Hopefully, even with having a Senior status, I’ll be able to do that.

Where the Wild Things Are

When I ride my bike, I usually ride on part of the Provo River Trail.  From where I live, I can get to the Provo River Trail a couple of different ways.  If I take one of the ways, I ride by several different types of animals.  And, on the actual trail, I’ve come across a couple of families of quails.

Mule & Horse Llama

Goats & Llama Ducks

Review: Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins

Catching Fire CoverTitle: Catching Fire
Author: Suzanne Collins
Series: The Hunger Games #2
Genre: Dystopian Romance (YA)
Buy on Amazon · Add to Shelfari · Add to Goodreads

Against all odds, Katniss Everdeen has won the annual Hunger Games with her fellow district tribute Peeta Mellark. But it was a victory won by defiance of the Capitol and their harsh rules. Katniss and Peeta should be happy; after all, they have just won a life of safety for themselves and their families. But there are rumors of rebellion among the subjects, and Katniss and Peeta, to their horror, are the faces of that rebellion. The Capitol is angry. The Capitol wants revenge … two people should never win the Hunger Games.

I actually started reading Catching Fire this morning and finished reading it about two hours ago.  Just like The Hunger Games, I couldn’t put Catching Fire down and it has earned a place on my Favorites shelf.

Suzanne Collins is a master with imagery and character development.  It makes the story seem so real.  You can’t help feeling sorry for the residents of Panem, a post-apocalyptic North America, because of the oppression from the Capitol.  However, because the themes do seem a little barbaric, she puts in just enough hope, compassion, and romance to balance the story.

I really enjoy the deeper, more adult, themes this series presents.  It doesn’t seem like a mindless read because of the implications and horror caused by the Capitol in the ways they oppress the residents of Panem.  It’s almost like the world created in Fahrenheit 451, but told in a much more interesting manner and most of the people aren’t oblivious to the Capitol’s efforts to keep its residents in ignorance by oppression.

Anyway, there’s a part of me that wishes I hadn’t started this series until all the books were written.  They’re so intense and it’s hard to wait in between each story.  I want to know how the series is going to end.  I want to know if the characters I care about will triumph over the Capitol and how much of a difference it will make if they succeed.

My Take on Obama’s Health Plan

This is a very scary topic for me to write about.  As I’ve stated in past posts, I usually stay as far away from politics as possible.  I hate the anger and contention that ensues because of the disagreements over the issues.  However, in my last poll, a good number of you said you wanted to read about my feelings on controversial issues.  Here I go.

I’ve been thinking about President Obama’s health plan a lot.  Mostly, because there are so many posts/polls about people disliking/liking it on Facebook.

In talking about his health plan, President Obama has said, “No one should die because they cannot afford health care, and no one should go broke because they get sick.”  First off, I agree with this statement whole-heartedly.  Now, before you start seething or fuming because I agree with this statement, please hear me out.  Just because I agree with this statement doesn’t mean I agree with the entire health plan in general.

One of my Facebook friends posted President Obama’s statement as their status on Facebook.  I immediately clicked the “Like” link.  A few minutes later, I noticed the following comment:

“Then, they should plan ahead and take care of themselves. Because if we want the government to do it, it will cost us our souls!”

The part that really struck a chord with me is the planning ahead to take care of themselves.  In general, that’s a good rule, but from personal experience, it doesn’t always work like that.

Corey and I were married in March 1998.  He was 22 and I was 19.  We had very little money, but we both had jobs and we had good insurance through Corey’s job.  However, because we didn’t want to be stuck in the same place our entire life, we decided that because I only had a year left of school at Snow College to get my Associates degree, we would quit our jobs, move to Ephraim, find a job there, and finish my year at school.

This plan worked until Corey was injured on the job in July 1998.  And, unfortunately, the job wasn’t paying worker’s compensation and they didn’t have insurance, even though they had told us they did.  (We were young and naive.)  Because Corey could no longer work, they fired him and his injury was bad enough that he needed surgery.

From this point on, a mere four months after we were married, Corey and I have been constantly putting more than half of our income towards medical bills.  Some of you may be thinking, “That was an expensive surgery.”  Yes it was and Corey’s medical problems didn’t end there.

About a year and a half after we were married, Corey started having horrible migraines.  However, these migraines were more than migraines.  They wouldn’t just incapacitate him for hours.  They would incapacitate him for days and even weeks.

He had test after test done to find out the cause of his headaches.  No underlying cause has ever been found.  This went on for nearly eight years.  Fortunately, during this time, we had insurance.  It did cut our costs, but not as much as you think it would’ve.

Just as his headaches were starting to go away, Corey started to have pains in his abdomen.  The pain was later attributed to a faulty gall bladder.  However, even once his gall bladder was removed, he still had problems.  The doctors kept running test after test until he was diagnosed with polycythemia, a disorder in which his body produces too many red blood cells, usually associated with leukemia or lymphoma.  A few months later, he was diagnosed with colitis.  However, because of the polycythemia, they can’t control his colitis in the typical manner.  And finally, last year, they found a tumor in his femur.

Since the tumor was removed last December, Corey has been doing much better.  He still deals with the pain from the surgery and having a good chunk of his femur removed, the polycythemia, colitis, and he always has a constant low-level headache.  But, for the most part, he’s doing really well.  Unfortunately, our finances are still suffering from all the medical trauma.

We have insurance.  We’ve had insurance since his headaches started.  It’s through my work.  I quit going to school so I could be the main breadwinner because Corey couldn’t work.  It was too hard on him physically.  A regular eight-to-five job is still too hard on him physically.  However, even with the insurance, we’ve still paid more than half of our income to medical bills.  We still have medical bills we’re trying to pay.

You can’t always plan ahead for medical problems.  And, even if you can pay for the smaller illnesses, no one can afford to pay for cancer treatment.  It’s too expensive, except for the über rich, like Bill Gates or Donald Trump.  Heck, they may not even be able to afford all the treatment.

Do I think that health care should be affordable for all?  Yes.  Do I think our health care system, as it stands, has problems?  Yes.  Do I think President Obama’s plan is the best way to fix our health care? I don’t know.  I don’t think we should bankrupt our nation to provide health care for all, but I think we can make health care more affordable and that it can cover more than what it does right now and without all the headache from dealing with the insurance companies. President Obama’s plan may not be the solution, but at least he’s thinking along the right lines in the sense that no one should die or go broke because they can’t afford the care they need.